That's fancy talk for babble...
So yesterday, I posted 100 Facts About Me. I'm not sure why I wanted to put so much of myself out into the Universe, but I just felt like I needed to.
I have been in a mood lately and by mood I mean mentally, I have been in a bad mood towards myself.
Outside world, good mood.
Inside my head, bad mood.
Maybe, I just needed to vent or share or put my soul out there for the world to crush or for someone to read it and realize they weren't alone.
I mean, it's why I write.
Creatively, I write to quiet the cast of character voices in my head and by blogging, journaling, etc, if by sharing, I make someone's day, then it was worth putting it out there for the world.
I had this grandiose idea that when I returned from Australia that I would have all of my life questions answered. Though I did return with a lot of answers and epiphanies, I came back with even more questions. Questions more for and of myself. I'm not pissed off about those questions or even frustrated because I realize I am growing.
I also realized that I have way too many things going on in my life. I've got about a dozen blogs I write for and run, but none consistently enough to make a damn difference. So I will be spending this week combining my efforts into just a few. This one obviously stays active and so does my hockey site and maybe I'll combine my personal Twitter and my hockey twitter into one. Who knows? These are thoughts just going through my head.
I don't have it all figured out yet...this is just a stream of consciousness with no answers.
Listening to the Red Wings vs Calgary Flames game
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
5 Things You Need to Know: 2nd Half of the NHL Season Starts Tonight
1. There are 13 games tonight. Heaven on earth for any hockey fan.
2. Tonight's games mark the second half of the season.
3. Bruins vs Senators - watch to see the hometown's reaction to Tim Thomas, who declined to appear at the White House last week.
3.. Philadelphia Flyers vs Winnipeg Jets: if this game is like the first two, look for high scores. Jets are trying to break a dry spell and the Flyers are missing key players to injuries
5. Buffalo Sabres vs Montreal Canadiens: Both teams are in the bottom of the division. The Canadiens want another win to make it a 3 game streak. The Sabres just want back to back wins.
2. Tonight's games mark the second half of the season.
3. Bruins vs Senators - watch to see the hometown's reaction to Tim Thomas, who declined to appear at the White House last week.
3.. Philadelphia Flyers vs Winnipeg Jets: if this game is like the first two, look for high scores. Jets are trying to break a dry spell and the Flyers are missing key players to injuries
5. Buffalo Sabres vs Montreal Canadiens: Both teams are in the bottom of the division. The Canadiens want another win to make it a 3 game streak. The Sabres just want back to back wins.
Monday, January 30, 2012
100 Facts About Me
1. I'm a writer...I've written 4 novels (non published), in the process of writing at least 4 more & write poetry
2. I'm a dreamer. I dream big, ask for the galaxy, and hope to catch a falling star.
3. I'm an arm chair astronomy geek. I love star gazing. Have loved it since my Uncle Roy taught me how to find the Big Dipper in the sky. I got the stars in the Southern Cross tattooed on my arm.
4. I'm a music lover. I listen to music roughly 16 plus hours a day. It also helps that I work for a radio station.
5. I'm a huge hockey fan. I love every aspect of the sport. The Detroit Red Wings & New York Rangers are my favorite NHL teams. The Charlotte Checkers is my favorite AHL team.
6. I like red & white wine equally.
7. My favorite bar is The Gin Mill. The staff there is family to me and were there for me when my mom passed away. They kept me laughing when I needed it, hugged me when I needed a hug, and never let me drink alone.
8. I'm a Twitter addict.
9. I am not a Facebook addict.
10. My zodiac sign is Scorpio.
11. My Chinese zodiac sign is Rabbit
12. My favorite movie is Say Anything.
13. My favorite book is The Old Man & the Sea by Ernest Hemingway.
14. My favorite writer is Mark Danielewski.
15. I am inspired by the creativeness of Jimmy Buffett, Cameron Crowe, & Mark Danielewski.
16. I own all but 2 Jimmy Buffett albums (they are no longer in print).
17. My top five favorite artists (in no particular order): Rammstein, Jimmy Buffett, U2, Stereophonics, Matthew Ryan
18. My top five favorite movies (in no particular order): Say Anything, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Way of the Gun, Spaceballs
19. My favorite movie quote is "I'm looking for a dare to be great situation" by Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything.
20. My favorite Jimmy Buffett lyric is "According to my watch, the time is now, the past is dead and gone. Don't try to explain it, just nod your head. Breathe in, breathe out, move on."
21. I believe in reincarnation.
22. I believe in signs from the Universe.
23. I'm donating my body to the University of Tennessee for their forensic science program when I leave this earth.
24. My soul feels at peace the moment I step foot in Key West, FL. I never thought I'd have that feeling anywhere else until the moment I stepped onto the beaches in Bondi in Australia.
25. I love the ocean.
26. I want to learn how celestial navigation.
27. I believe in UFOs.
28. I love to draw & paint.
29. Was a vegetarian with a somewhat pescetarian diet until I went to Australia. Don't know if I'll go back to being a strict vegetarian again.
30. I would be a vegan but I love goat cheese and cheese in general to give that up.
31. My favorite dessert is creme brulee or carrot cake.
32. I have done 36 shots in one night @ the Music Farm in Charleston, SC. (I didn't feel all that great the next day of course.)
33. Won $400 in keno in Vegas in 2009. $200 at the Bellagio breakfast buffett and $200 at Caesar's Palace.
34. I love playing craps @ Bill's Gambling Saloon in Vegas.
35. I wanted to be an astronaut until the 6th grade. It's the one dream, I regret giving up.
36. I took 3 years of auto mechanics in high school. I was the 1st female to take the class and to graduate with the credits. I grew up in the garage with my dad. This was natural for me.
37. I can change my own oil, rebuild an engine, but am scared to connect jumper cables to a battery.
38. I love to read.
39. I am a hopeless romantic.
40. I want the undying and dedicated love that my parents & grandparents have/had.
41. I hate being late and it aggravates me when others are late.
42. I love yoga.
43. I hate working out.
44. I want to learn how to surf.
45. I want to swim with sharks.
46. I want to swim with dolphins.
47. I want to see a NHL game at every team's arena. (I've been to Philips Arena for former Atlanta Thrashers, RBC Center for Carolina Hurricanes, Verizon Center for Washington Capitals, and Madison Square Garden for New York Rangers)
48. I want to meet the Dali Lama.
49. I love to walk around cities/places and explore. You can find some of the best kept secrets and hidden treasures that way.
50. My nieces are the brightest stars in my sky. There's nothing I wouldn't do for those girls.
51. I love being lazy. Lazy days in bed, lazy days on the couch, lazy days sitting on a patio doing nothing but talking, drinking, and hanging with friends.
52. I love when it thunders and lightning during a rainstorm.
53. I don't understand American football and would rather stick hot pokers in my eyes than have to watch a game.
54. I didn't mind arena football & worked Arena Bowl twice in New Orleans on their "radio row."
55. I never knew New Orleans pre-Katrina, but it is one of my favorite places to visit. The people there are so dedicated to their city.
56. I love raw oysters but cannot eat the giant ones, they make me gag. I prefer my oysters with a little horseradish and cocktail sauce. I never liked oysters until my first trip to New Orleans. My friend Cristi's husband, Deano, got me addicted to them.
57. I was so nervous meeting Olympic & World Figure Skaters while I worked Ice Wars, I thought I was going to vomit. I was more nervous meeting the skaters than I was Metallica, Motley Crue, or any other big name rock band. Meeting Brian Boitano, Kurt Browning, Viktor Petrenko, Oksana Baiul, Kristi Yamaguchi, Alexei Yagudin, Iila Kulik, and the others were so freaking cool! I have loved Brian Boitano since 1988 when he won Gold.
58. I like doing things by myself. Vacations, dinners, movies, concerts, etc. If I had to wait for someone to go with, I'd never get anything done.
59. I find guys who can wear a white t-shirt, Levi's and flip-flops extremely sexy.
60. I also find guys in a well tailored suit sexy but I prefer the above.
61. I have 9 eight tattoos. My 1st was a bear holding a flower on my right shoulder (he's my traveling companion so I never travel alone), 2nd Woodstock from Peanuts on my heel, 3rd butterfly on my lower back, 4th symbol for rabbit in the Chinese zodiac on the back of my neck, 5th sunburst below the Chinese Zodiac, 6th an orchid for my mom & Air Force symbol for my dad with the letter "S" uniting them on my left shoulder, 7th a bass clef shaped into a heart with the hearts shaped into a 4 leaf clover on my left wrist, and my 8th tattoo actually now incorporates my 6th tattoo. It's on my left shoulder/arm/back. It has the lyrics "I will never forget, I will never regret, I will live my life closer to the edge" from "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars with flowers on my arm/shoulder/back. It is a tribute to my mom. My 9th tattoo is on my right shoulder and has the constellation for the Southern Cross with the words "The Time is Now" and "Dare to Be" in it. My 8th & 9th pieces were done by Travis @ Fu's Custom Tattoos. I have become a lifetime customer.
62. I use to have my navel pierced but removed it. I also don't normally wear earrings. I have 3 in each ear and lost my nose ring in a drunk night. I will more than likely get my nose re-pierced again.
63. I have a weakness for guys with a gorgeous smile and eyes that have a sparkle in them.
64. I will always do a double take if a guy has baby blues and dark hair.
65. I am teaching myself how to speak Russian & German. I haven't mastered either.
66. I turned 21 in Thailand and it was one of the best birthdays ever spent breaking the language barrier, drinking soda, and dancing with family and friends. We didn't understand each other but for one night, we spoke the same language.
67. Kevin Fogarty is my personal ray of sunshine. I'm so honored he's a friend and in my life. He never fails to brighten my day when I need it the most & he never knows I need it. I just randomly get a message or text but it's like he knows.
68. I cuss. There are days that I probably could put harden criminals to shame. My favorite cuss word would be fuck. It's a noun, verb, adverb, or whatever you need it to be. I rarely cuss in front of my dad or mom when she was alive.
69. I love my friends to pieces. I hold them close to my heart and I will never bullshit them. I will also, not put up with bullshit. Don't ask my opinion if you're not ready to hear the God's honest truth. You don't have to agree with it. You don't even have to like it, but if you're a friend and you asked, you're going to get brutal honesty.
70. Though my family means the world to me, they are not necessarily my world. We go days and sometimes weeks without even talking. It doesn't mean I love them any less or they love me any less. I've come to understand that you can have family ties but you cannot let your family tie you down from living your dreams. Luckily, my family encourages me to dream big.
71. I can spend hours reading every article on CNN.
72. My only opinion on politics is this: I'd like to have someone in office that won't muck it up for future generations. I don't care which party you belong to just don't screw up anymore and be nice. Stop telling lies. I don't trust you to begin with so just be honest.
73. My only opinion on religion is this: Believe in whatever helps you get through the day. If you want to pray to the dodo bird, so be it. If you want to pray to the heavens, so be it. Just don't hurt anyone along the way.
74. I think if we all adhere to this John Sebastian quote, then we might be all right, "Just love everybody all around ya and clean up a little garbage on your way out and everything gonna be alright."
75. One of my favorite photos is by Robert Doisneau titled Kiss by the Hotel de Ville
76. I'll be the first to admit I'm a bit naive when it comes to things, but don't mistake that as stupid because I'll school myself in a subject and master it.
77. Graduated in the Top 10 of my high school class but never went to college.
78. I tried to learn guitar but 2 things stopped me: an ex-boyfriend told me I was tone deaf and I couldn't find a guitar with a neck board that I could wrap my hand around. I should have never listed to the ex and I shouldn't have stopped looking for a guitar I could hold.
79. I have learned after all these years I have lived to admit when I am wrong.
80. I have also learned after all these years to say thank you when complimented though it's hard for some retarded reason not to insert some sarcastic joke.
81. I contemplated suicide once. I decided against it of course. I didn't think anyone would care if I was gone.
82. Having said above, I gave myself the arm chair diagnosis of depression. I don't know how I came out through the dark alone and without drugs, but somehow, I did.
83. I believe I have met my guardian angel. His name is Eddie and he has a dog named, Vance. The night before I met him, I had a dream with him in it. He looked like Hugh Grant in my dream but in person he was wearing everything and doing everything Hugh Grant was doing in my dream. We sat on the beach and talked for hours. I never saw him again after that. I believe he was sent into my life to save me from the dark.
84. I know my defense mechanisms for keeping people out of my life and they are distancing myself, turning myself away from someone, jealousy, ignoring someone, and sometimes just being a down right bitch to someone. I feel that if I push them away, I can't get hurt. Which never works and I know that now.
85. No one knows the real me. Not even my closest and dearest friends.
86. My ovaries don't ache for children. If I met the right man and he wanted children, I would have them but my biological clock isn't screaming at me. If the right man came along, and he didn't want children, I'd be okay with that too or even adopting.
87. I have had visions of my children. A little boy and a little girl. I have the boy first, then the girl. This vision came to me a month prior to #88.
88. I do not have my left ovary. It was removed in 2002 when I had 25cm cyst removed. The cyst was the size of basketball.
89. For almost 5 painful months, I couldn't move anything on the left side of my body. I had a bulging disc pressing against my spinal chord which paralyzed/numbed everything on my left side. Since my surgery, my left hand and shoulder start to tingle, letting me know I'm stressed out.
90. Away from my job, I am an introvert. At my job, I'm an extrovert, but it takes a while for me to warm up to that.
91. Purple and gray are my favorite colors.
92. I have watched all 9 seasons and 2 movies of The X-Files.
93. If there is a Mythbusters marathon on, I will watch it. I have seen every episode.
94. I miss my Mom saying "Goodnight baby" to me. She said it every night until the day she was taken to the hospital. I say it to the thin air around me or to my dog Nick (formerly her dog) now.
95. My mom, Lek, aka Crazy Little Thai Woman passed away Dec 17 2009. The day changed my life forever. Even though she's gone, I became a better person and a stronger person through her death.
96. I have hated hospitals most of my life. I prefer to never go in them.
97. I love making jewelry. I totally zen out while creating it.
98. I have killed all the plants ever given to me except for 1 from my friends Amy & Joe. It somehow has miraculously survived living with me in my apartment since I moved in. I have nursed it back to health a dozen times.
99. I can quote most of Spaceballs and Goonies by heart.
100. I am a night owl. I hate mornings.
Coming up with 100 facts was down right hard, but there you have it. 100 facts you could care or care less about. It took me 10 months to write this. Damn, I'm glad I'm done.
2. I'm a dreamer. I dream big, ask for the galaxy, and hope to catch a falling star.
3. I'm an arm chair astronomy geek. I love star gazing. Have loved it since my Uncle Roy taught me how to find the Big Dipper in the sky. I got the stars in the Southern Cross tattooed on my arm.
4. I'm a music lover. I listen to music roughly 16 plus hours a day. It also helps that I work for a radio station.
5. I'm a huge hockey fan. I love every aspect of the sport. The Detroit Red Wings & New York Rangers are my favorite NHL teams. The Charlotte Checkers is my favorite AHL team.
6. I like red & white wine equally.
7. My favorite bar is The Gin Mill. The staff there is family to me and were there for me when my mom passed away. They kept me laughing when I needed it, hugged me when I needed a hug, and never let me drink alone.
8. I'm a Twitter addict.
9. I am not a Facebook addict.
10. My zodiac sign is Scorpio.
11. My Chinese zodiac sign is Rabbit
12. My favorite movie is Say Anything.
13. My favorite book is The Old Man & the Sea by Ernest Hemingway.
14. My favorite writer is Mark Danielewski.
15. I am inspired by the creativeness of Jimmy Buffett, Cameron Crowe, & Mark Danielewski.
16. I own all but 2 Jimmy Buffett albums (they are no longer in print).
17. My top five favorite artists (in no particular order): Rammstein, Jimmy Buffett, U2, Stereophonics, Matthew Ryan
18. My top five favorite movies (in no particular order): Say Anything, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Way of the Gun, Spaceballs
19. My favorite movie quote is "I'm looking for a dare to be great situation" by Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything.
20. My favorite Jimmy Buffett lyric is "According to my watch, the time is now, the past is dead and gone. Don't try to explain it, just nod your head. Breathe in, breathe out, move on."
21. I believe in reincarnation.
22. I believe in signs from the Universe.
23. I'm donating my body to the University of Tennessee for their forensic science program when I leave this earth.
24. My soul feels at peace the moment I step foot in Key West, FL. I never thought I'd have that feeling anywhere else until the moment I stepped onto the beaches in Bondi in Australia.
25. I love the ocean.
26. I want to learn how celestial navigation.
27. I believe in UFOs.
28. I love to draw & paint.
29. Was a vegetarian with a somewhat pescetarian diet until I went to Australia. Don't know if I'll go back to being a strict vegetarian again.
30. I would be a vegan but I love goat cheese and cheese in general to give that up.
31. My favorite dessert is creme brulee or carrot cake.
32. I have done 36 shots in one night @ the Music Farm in Charleston, SC. (I didn't feel all that great the next day of course.)
33. Won $400 in keno in Vegas in 2009. $200 at the Bellagio breakfast buffett and $200 at Caesar's Palace.
34. I love playing craps @ Bill's Gambling Saloon in Vegas.
35. I wanted to be an astronaut until the 6th grade. It's the one dream, I regret giving up.
36. I took 3 years of auto mechanics in high school. I was the 1st female to take the class and to graduate with the credits. I grew up in the garage with my dad. This was natural for me.
37. I can change my own oil, rebuild an engine, but am scared to connect jumper cables to a battery.
38. I love to read.
39. I am a hopeless romantic.
40. I want the undying and dedicated love that my parents & grandparents have/had.
41. I hate being late and it aggravates me when others are late.
42. I love yoga.
43. I hate working out.
44. I want to learn how to surf.
45. I want to swim with sharks.
46. I want to swim with dolphins.
47. I want to see a NHL game at every team's arena. (I've been to Philips Arena for former Atlanta Thrashers, RBC Center for Carolina Hurricanes, Verizon Center for Washington Capitals, and Madison Square Garden for New York Rangers)
48. I want to meet the Dali Lama.
49. I love to walk around cities/places and explore. You can find some of the best kept secrets and hidden treasures that way.
50. My nieces are the brightest stars in my sky. There's nothing I wouldn't do for those girls.
51. I love being lazy. Lazy days in bed, lazy days on the couch, lazy days sitting on a patio doing nothing but talking, drinking, and hanging with friends.
52. I love when it thunders and lightning during a rainstorm.
53. I don't understand American football and would rather stick hot pokers in my eyes than have to watch a game.
54. I didn't mind arena football & worked Arena Bowl twice in New Orleans on their "radio row."
55. I never knew New Orleans pre-Katrina, but it is one of my favorite places to visit. The people there are so dedicated to their city.
56. I love raw oysters but cannot eat the giant ones, they make me gag. I prefer my oysters with a little horseradish and cocktail sauce. I never liked oysters until my first trip to New Orleans. My friend Cristi's husband, Deano, got me addicted to them.
57. I was so nervous meeting Olympic & World Figure Skaters while I worked Ice Wars, I thought I was going to vomit. I was more nervous meeting the skaters than I was Metallica, Motley Crue, or any other big name rock band. Meeting Brian Boitano, Kurt Browning, Viktor Petrenko, Oksana Baiul, Kristi Yamaguchi, Alexei Yagudin, Iila Kulik, and the others were so freaking cool! I have loved Brian Boitano since 1988 when he won Gold.
58. I like doing things by myself. Vacations, dinners, movies, concerts, etc. If I had to wait for someone to go with, I'd never get anything done.
59. I find guys who can wear a white t-shirt, Levi's and flip-flops extremely sexy.
60. I also find guys in a well tailored suit sexy but I prefer the above.
61. I have 9 eight tattoos. My 1st was a bear holding a flower on my right shoulder (he's my traveling companion so I never travel alone), 2nd Woodstock from Peanuts on my heel, 3rd butterfly on my lower back, 4th symbol for rabbit in the Chinese zodiac on the back of my neck, 5th sunburst below the Chinese Zodiac, 6th an orchid for my mom & Air Force symbol for my dad with the letter "S" uniting them on my left shoulder, 7th a bass clef shaped into a heart with the hearts shaped into a 4 leaf clover on my left wrist, and my 8th tattoo actually now incorporates my 6th tattoo. It's on my left shoulder/arm/back. It has the lyrics "I will never forget, I will never regret, I will live my life closer to the edge" from "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars with flowers on my arm/shoulder/back. It is a tribute to my mom. My 9th tattoo is on my right shoulder and has the constellation for the Southern Cross with the words "The Time is Now" and "Dare to Be" in it. My 8th & 9th pieces were done by Travis @ Fu's Custom Tattoos. I have become a lifetime customer.
62. I use to have my navel pierced but removed it. I also don't normally wear earrings. I have 3 in each ear and lost my nose ring in a drunk night. I will more than likely get my nose re-pierced again.
63. I have a weakness for guys with a gorgeous smile and eyes that have a sparkle in them.
64. I will always do a double take if a guy has baby blues and dark hair.
65. I am teaching myself how to speak Russian & German. I haven't mastered either.
66. I turned 21 in Thailand and it was one of the best birthdays ever spent breaking the language barrier, drinking soda, and dancing with family and friends. We didn't understand each other but for one night, we spoke the same language.
67. Kevin Fogarty is my personal ray of sunshine. I'm so honored he's a friend and in my life. He never fails to brighten my day when I need it the most & he never knows I need it. I just randomly get a message or text but it's like he knows.
68. I cuss. There are days that I probably could put harden criminals to shame. My favorite cuss word would be fuck. It's a noun, verb, adverb, or whatever you need it to be. I rarely cuss in front of my dad or mom when she was alive.
69. I love my friends to pieces. I hold them close to my heart and I will never bullshit them. I will also, not put up with bullshit. Don't ask my opinion if you're not ready to hear the God's honest truth. You don't have to agree with it. You don't even have to like it, but if you're a friend and you asked, you're going to get brutal honesty.
70. Though my family means the world to me, they are not necessarily my world. We go days and sometimes weeks without even talking. It doesn't mean I love them any less or they love me any less. I've come to understand that you can have family ties but you cannot let your family tie you down from living your dreams. Luckily, my family encourages me to dream big.
71. I can spend hours reading every article on CNN.
72. My only opinion on politics is this: I'd like to have someone in office that won't muck it up for future generations. I don't care which party you belong to just don't screw up anymore and be nice. Stop telling lies. I don't trust you to begin with so just be honest.
73. My only opinion on religion is this: Believe in whatever helps you get through the day. If you want to pray to the dodo bird, so be it. If you want to pray to the heavens, so be it. Just don't hurt anyone along the way.
74. I think if we all adhere to this John Sebastian quote, then we might be all right, "Just love everybody all around ya and clean up a little garbage on your way out and everything gonna be alright."
75. One of my favorite photos is by Robert Doisneau titled Kiss by the Hotel de Ville
76. I'll be the first to admit I'm a bit naive when it comes to things, but don't mistake that as stupid because I'll school myself in a subject and master it.
77. Graduated in the Top 10 of my high school class but never went to college.
78. I tried to learn guitar but 2 things stopped me: an ex-boyfriend told me I was tone deaf and I couldn't find a guitar with a neck board that I could wrap my hand around. I should have never listed to the ex and I shouldn't have stopped looking for a guitar I could hold.
79. I have learned after all these years I have lived to admit when I am wrong.
80. I have also learned after all these years to say thank you when complimented though it's hard for some retarded reason not to insert some sarcastic joke.
81. I contemplated suicide once. I decided against it of course. I didn't think anyone would care if I was gone.
82. Having said above, I gave myself the arm chair diagnosis of depression. I don't know how I came out through the dark alone and without drugs, but somehow, I did.
83. I believe I have met my guardian angel. His name is Eddie and he has a dog named, Vance. The night before I met him, I had a dream with him in it. He looked like Hugh Grant in my dream but in person he was wearing everything and doing everything Hugh Grant was doing in my dream. We sat on the beach and talked for hours. I never saw him again after that. I believe he was sent into my life to save me from the dark.
84. I know my defense mechanisms for keeping people out of my life and they are distancing myself, turning myself away from someone, jealousy, ignoring someone, and sometimes just being a down right bitch to someone. I feel that if I push them away, I can't get hurt. Which never works and I know that now.
85. No one knows the real me. Not even my closest and dearest friends.
86. My ovaries don't ache for children. If I met the right man and he wanted children, I would have them but my biological clock isn't screaming at me. If the right man came along, and he didn't want children, I'd be okay with that too or even adopting.
87. I have had visions of my children. A little boy and a little girl. I have the boy first, then the girl. This vision came to me a month prior to #88.
88. I do not have my left ovary. It was removed in 2002 when I had 25cm cyst removed. The cyst was the size of basketball.
89. For almost 5 painful months, I couldn't move anything on the left side of my body. I had a bulging disc pressing against my spinal chord which paralyzed/numbed everything on my left side. Since my surgery, my left hand and shoulder start to tingle, letting me know I'm stressed out.
90. Away from my job, I am an introvert. At my job, I'm an extrovert, but it takes a while for me to warm up to that.
91. Purple and gray are my favorite colors.
92. I have watched all 9 seasons and 2 movies of The X-Files.
93. If there is a Mythbusters marathon on, I will watch it. I have seen every episode.
94. I miss my Mom saying "Goodnight baby" to me. She said it every night until the day she was taken to the hospital. I say it to the thin air around me or to my dog Nick (formerly her dog) now.
95. My mom, Lek, aka Crazy Little Thai Woman passed away Dec 17 2009. The day changed my life forever. Even though she's gone, I became a better person and a stronger person through her death.
96. I have hated hospitals most of my life. I prefer to never go in them.
97. I love making jewelry. I totally zen out while creating it.
98. I have killed all the plants ever given to me except for 1 from my friends Amy & Joe. It somehow has miraculously survived living with me in my apartment since I moved in. I have nursed it back to health a dozen times.
99. I can quote most of Spaceballs and Goonies by heart.
100. I am a night owl. I hate mornings.
Coming up with 100 facts was down right hard, but there you have it. 100 facts you could care or care less about. It took me 10 months to write this. Damn, I'm glad I'm done.
01.30.12 - Song of the Day: "Kmag Yoyo"
Heard this song today on WNCW and came home and bought it off iTunes the moment I walked into my apt.
I also discovered Hayes Carll on WNCW, so I enjoy hearing him on the radio when they play him. This song is rocking hill billy fun. If you're not tapping your toes afterwards, something is wrong with you.
I also discovered Hayes Carll on WNCW, so I enjoy hearing him on the radio when they play him. This song is rocking hill billy fun. If you're not tapping your toes afterwards, something is wrong with you.
5 Things You Need to Know About NHL’s Sidney Crosby Injury
1. He missed almost 11 months because of a concussion from a pair of hits in back to back games. (last January to November)
2. He returned to the 2011-12 season and now has been out since Dec 5th
3. He not only suffered a concussion from the games in #1 but a neck injury as well as diagnosed by Dr. Robert S. Bray, a neurological spine specialist in Los Angeles. Dr Bray is reporting that the neck injury is fully healed.
4. Penguins GM, Ray Shero, has been quoted that there is a chance that Sidney could play in Pittsburgh on Saturday
5. Crosby is one of several players who have been sidelined with concussions. Others include fellow teammate, Kris Letang, Philadelphia Flyers Danny Briere (the 6th player to get suffer on the Flyers team – Matt Read, Brayden Schenn, Chris Pronger, James van Riemsdyk, and Claude Giroux). The list goes on…
2. He returned to the 2011-12 season and now has been out since Dec 5th
3. He not only suffered a concussion from the games in #1 but a neck injury as well as diagnosed by Dr. Robert S. Bray, a neurological spine specialist in Los Angeles. Dr Bray is reporting that the neck injury is fully healed.
4. Penguins GM, Ray Shero, has been quoted that there is a chance that Sidney could play in Pittsburgh on Saturday
5. Crosby is one of several players who have been sidelined with concussions. Others include fellow teammate, Kris Letang, Philadelphia Flyers Danny Briere (the 6th player to get suffer on the Flyers team – Matt Read, Brayden Schenn, Chris Pronger, James van Riemsdyk, and Claude Giroux). The list goes on…
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Songs of My Life - January 2012
A New Beginning by 26
Love, love, love this song. It's one of my favorites by 26. I love the music and the lyrics. It kicked off my song of the day for 2012 and is a perfect song to kick off a new year.
Fresh Green Freedom by Xavier Rudd
This song made me think of Australia before I went there and reminds me of Australia now that I'm back in the States. It is just a great song. Whenever I hear it, I am instantly transported to a beach and I'm in a better mood after listening to it.
Time Will Tell by Bob Marley & The Wailers
I discovered this track by listening to Xavier Rudd's Pandora radio mix. I just like the lyrics to the song. As the song sings, "time will tell..."
When it Comes My Turn by David Myles
My friend Heather turned me onto this song. When she hears a song and tells me it reminds her of me or something I'd say, I often listen and go, damn, she's right. She was right with "Keep Your Head Up" by Andy Grammer and she's right with this song too. I like to try and be positive and I think I'm successful most of the time but even I sometimes need to be reminded to not be Debbie Downer. This song like "Keep Your Head Up" is my reminder to hold my head up and smile.
Drink in My Hand by Eric Church
Country artists know how to write drankin' songs (yes, grammatically incorrect...get over it). Sometimes at the end of the day, you just look forward to having a drink in your hand.
Save Water, Drink Beer by Chris Young
Another drankin' song. I finally got to see Chris Young in concert. I've seen him perform in the studio a few times, but never on a stage. This is one of my favorite songs by Chris. Check out "Beer or Gasoline" and "I'm Headed Your Way Jose" too.
Fastest Girl in Town by Miranda Lambert
Chris opened for Miranda and to be honest, I wouldn't have ever listened to Miranda but my friend Tracy who went through a break up last year played a song for me and I dug it. I would say that Miranda is the girl power of country music. Stand up for yourself, pull yourself up off the floor, and keep walking. Love that. This song is just fun.
Never Gonna Come Back Down by BT
One of my favorite songs by BT. Always puts me in a good mood.
Animal by Ellie Goulding
I heard this song in Old Navy and I was hooked. I really like the lyrics "You have stolen all my senses. There's a fever in my heart and you are taking my defenses. You are pulling me apart. Forever we're young and we are dying and we will spilling all our blood. So I will take away my feelings, I will be an animal."
Beautiful Mess by Grace Askew
I love Grace's voice. I love this song. I love the lyrics. I love the music.
Run to Paradise by Choirboys
I heard this on a YouTube video and the song just stuck in my head so I had to buy it.
Levels by Avicil
Heard this at a Checkers hockey game. It puts me in a good mood.
Love, love, love this song. It's one of my favorites by 26. I love the music and the lyrics. It kicked off my song of the day for 2012 and is a perfect song to kick off a new year.
Fresh Green Freedom by Xavier Rudd
This song made me think of Australia before I went there and reminds me of Australia now that I'm back in the States. It is just a great song. Whenever I hear it, I am instantly transported to a beach and I'm in a better mood after listening to it.
Time Will Tell by Bob Marley & The Wailers
I discovered this track by listening to Xavier Rudd's Pandora radio mix. I just like the lyrics to the song. As the song sings, "time will tell..."
When it Comes My Turn by David Myles
My friend Heather turned me onto this song. When she hears a song and tells me it reminds her of me or something I'd say, I often listen and go, damn, she's right. She was right with "Keep Your Head Up" by Andy Grammer and she's right with this song too. I like to try and be positive and I think I'm successful most of the time but even I sometimes need to be reminded to not be Debbie Downer. This song like "Keep Your Head Up" is my reminder to hold my head up and smile.
Drink in My Hand by Eric Church
Country artists know how to write drankin' songs (yes, grammatically incorrect...get over it). Sometimes at the end of the day, you just look forward to having a drink in your hand.
Save Water, Drink Beer by Chris Young
Another drankin' song. I finally got to see Chris Young in concert. I've seen him perform in the studio a few times, but never on a stage. This is one of my favorite songs by Chris. Check out "Beer or Gasoline" and "I'm Headed Your Way Jose" too.
Fastest Girl in Town by Miranda Lambert
Chris opened for Miranda and to be honest, I wouldn't have ever listened to Miranda but my friend Tracy who went through a break up last year played a song for me and I dug it. I would say that Miranda is the girl power of country music. Stand up for yourself, pull yourself up off the floor, and keep walking. Love that. This song is just fun.
Never Gonna Come Back Down by BT
One of my favorite songs by BT. Always puts me in a good mood.
Animal by Ellie Goulding
I heard this song in Old Navy and I was hooked. I really like the lyrics "You have stolen all my senses. There's a fever in my heart and you are taking my defenses. You are pulling me apart. Forever we're young and we are dying and we will spilling all our blood. So I will take away my feelings, I will be an animal."
Beautiful Mess by Grace Askew
I love Grace's voice. I love this song. I love the lyrics. I love the music.
Run to Paradise by Choirboys
I heard this on a YouTube video and the song just stuck in my head so I had to buy it.
Levels by Avicil
Heard this at a Checkers hockey game. It puts me in a good mood.
01.29.12 - Song of the Day: "Levels"
I first heard this song at a Checkers game. It's quite infectious and I like the lyric.
Yes, lyric. There's only one line in the song and it is only sang twice.
"Oh sometimes, I get a good feeling yeah. Get a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before, no no I get a good feeling, yeah."
And sometimes, I do just get a good feeling. The video is fun too. Just shows that having a fun is contagious!
Yes, lyric. There's only one line in the song and it is only sang twice.
"Oh sometimes, I get a good feeling yeah. Get a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before, no no I get a good feeling, yeah."
And sometimes, I do just get a good feeling. The video is fun too. Just shows that having a fun is contagious!
5 Things You Need to Know From the NHL All Star Games
1. Zdeno Chara had the hardest shot which clocked in at 108.8 - an NHL record.
2. Marian Gaborik nailed a hat trick and scored two goals against teammate Henrik Lundqvist. He was also named NHL All Star MVP with 3 goals, 1 assist.
3. Daniel Alfredsson netted 2 goals for Team Alfie.
4. Team Chara won against Team Alfie 12 to 9.
5. Artist, Drake, played right wing when he played hockey.
2. Marian Gaborik nailed a hat trick and scored two goals against teammate Henrik Lundqvist. He was also named NHL All Star MVP with 3 goals, 1 assist.
3. Daniel Alfredsson netted 2 goals for Team Alfie.
4. Team Chara won against Team Alfie 12 to 9.
5. Artist, Drake, played right wing when he played hockey.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
01.28.12 - Song of the Day: "Never Gonna Come Back Down"
This is probably one of my favorite BT songs. Always puts me in a good mood. And today, I'm in a good mood!!
BT ft M D - Never Gonna Come Back Down by 6souls
BT ft M D - Never Gonna Come Back Down by 6souls
Thursday, January 26, 2012
01.26.12 - Song of the Day: "I Remember"
I love, love, love this song.
If you do not want to drink a bottle of whiskey and slow dance with your broken heart, then by God, something is wrong with you.
Also, there was no song of the day yesterday...I wasn't feeling very inspired
If you do not want to drink a bottle of whiskey and slow dance with your broken heart, then by God, something is wrong with you.
Also, there was no song of the day yesterday...I wasn't feeling very inspired
5 Things You Need to Know About the Detroit Red Wings vs Montreal Canadiens Game on Jan 25th
1. The Detroit Red Wings entered the game on a 7-Game winning streak, but fell 7 to 2 against the Canadiens.
2. Montreal scored four goals in their first eleven shots against Jimmy Howard
3. Montreal’s Alexei Emelin scored his first NHL goal
4. Wings #2 goalie, Ty Conklin, replaced Howard after the first intermission
5. Babcock was quoted saying: "I'm not going to look at video on this at all. I'm going to go have a drink, actually, is what I'm going to do. "We were awful; I don't know what else to tell you. We were that bad, but the night's over with, and thank God. The clock couldn't run fast enough. Let's move on.”
2. Montreal scored four goals in their first eleven shots against Jimmy Howard
3. Montreal’s Alexei Emelin scored his first NHL goal
4. Wings #2 goalie, Ty Conklin, replaced Howard after the first intermission
5. Babcock was quoted saying: "I'm not going to look at video on this at all. I'm going to go have a drink, actually, is what I'm going to do. "We were awful; I don't know what else to tell you. We were that bad, but the night's over with, and thank God. The clock couldn't run fast enough. Let's move on.”
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
A Lot of Noise Over Nothing
So this week in hockey (and it's only Wednesday), there has been a lot of noise made over a lot of nothing in my opinion.
First up: TIM THOMAS NOT VISITING THE WHITE HOUSE
In my opinion, who cares. Tim Thomas' views on politics have no impact on how he plays his game. The thing about being an American, is that we have a right to choose, and as Tim Thomas said in his statement, he exercised this right. How ever he stands in politics is his opinion, but I do give him props for standing up and making a choice.
Second up: ALEX OVECHKIN OPTS OUT OF ALL-STAR WEEKEND
Background for those living under a rock: Ovie was suspended for 3 games on a hit against Pens' Michalek during the 2nd period of the Caps/Pens game on Sunday. Shanahan ruled that since Ovie left his feet, made contact with the head, & is a repeat offender, he deserved to sit out 3 games. Caps GM McPhee and Ovie are disappointed in the ruling.
Ovie stated he didn't feel like he didn't deserve to be at the All Star Game.
Let the man be. If that's truly how he feels, let him spend the break thinking about his suspension or partying like a rock star. Again, he's exercising a choice and standing by it.
In actual hockey news...as in this shit matters:
Congratulations to Mathieu Perreault for his first NHL Hat Trick
and see Ovechkin's prank on Perreault
First up: TIM THOMAS NOT VISITING THE WHITE HOUSE
In my opinion, who cares. Tim Thomas' views on politics have no impact on how he plays his game. The thing about being an American, is that we have a right to choose, and as Tim Thomas said in his statement, he exercised this right. How ever he stands in politics is his opinion, but I do give him props for standing up and making a choice.
Second up: ALEX OVECHKIN OPTS OUT OF ALL-STAR WEEKEND
Background for those living under a rock: Ovie was suspended for 3 games on a hit against Pens' Michalek during the 2nd period of the Caps/Pens game on Sunday. Shanahan ruled that since Ovie left his feet, made contact with the head, & is a repeat offender, he deserved to sit out 3 games. Caps GM McPhee and Ovie are disappointed in the ruling.
Ovie stated he didn't feel like he didn't deserve to be at the All Star Game.
Let the man be. If that's truly how he feels, let him spend the break thinking about his suspension or partying like a rock star. Again, he's exercising a choice and standing by it.
In actual hockey news...as in this shit matters:
Congratulations to Mathieu Perreault for his first NHL Hat Trick
and see Ovechkin's prank on Perreault
5 Things You Need to Know: About Hockey from the 13 Games on Jan 24th
1. Winners: Sabres over Devils, Maple Leafs over Islanders, Rangers over Jets, Washington over Bruins, Lightning over Columbus, Flyers over Panthers, Penguins over Blues, Predators over Blackhawks, Stars over Ducks, Wild over Avalanche, Sharks over Flames, Coyotes over Senators, Canucks over Oilers
2. There were 3 shut outs: Rangers, Stars, Ducks
3. Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals started his 3 game suspension last night. The suspension is a result of a hit on Pittsburg Penguins' Zbynek Michalek during Sunday's came on January 22nd.
4. Mathiew Perreault of the Washington Capitals scored his first NHL Hat Trick which included the game winning goal in the 3rd period.
5. Columbus Blue Jackets defensemen Grant Clitsome might have the most double entendre name to pop up on a TV screen. Unfortunate or makes you laugh out loud while saying "that's what she said."...it made us laugh.
2. There were 3 shut outs: Rangers, Stars, Ducks
3. Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals started his 3 game suspension last night. The suspension is a result of a hit on Pittsburg Penguins' Zbynek Michalek during Sunday's came on January 22nd.
4. Mathiew Perreault of the Washington Capitals scored his first NHL Hat Trick which included the game winning goal in the 3rd period.
5. Columbus Blue Jackets defensemen Grant Clitsome might have the most double entendre name to pop up on a TV screen. Unfortunate or makes you laugh out loud while saying "that's what she said."...it made us laugh.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
01.24.12 - Song of the Day: "Move By Yourself"
This song is dedicated to my friend and baby sistah from another mister, Cristina. She's leaving & returning home to D.C. In the end, she knows she'll be happy there. We've only known each other for a little while, but she will be a forever friend and I hope this song will always inspire her.
"And then a friend said, Don't stop doing what you believe in. Don't let them put you on a shelf. You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight. But don't ever be somebody that you're not. When there's a choice you've got to make, do what you feel, don't hesitate."
"And then a friend said, Don't stop doing what you believe in. Don't let them put you on a shelf. You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight. But don't ever be somebody that you're not. When there's a choice you've got to make, do what you feel, don't hesitate."
Monday, January 23, 2012
Frustration and Focus
I saw a sign on Pinterest and it said "There are over 7 billion people on the planet, are you going to let 1 person ruin your day?"
And I thought, wow, that's pretty powerful.
But today, I let one person @ poor customer service ruin my day. It was really the straw that broke the camel's back for this company. Normally, I'll let the amount of good customer service I've had greatly out weigh the one or two bad experiences I've had, but I couldn't get the frustration out of my head. The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. The less I thought about it, the more it created a mosh pit in my head.
What I should have focused on was the following: my dad became my hero on Friday night when he gave me $500. That was much needed. I'm able to hold my head above water until the 15th. I did my taxes today and I've got over $700 coming to me. That puts a dent into one of my credit cards. I'm getting $100 for concert tickets that I bought back in November back this week. That money will be put toward the deposit for my annual Key West trip. For the first time since I've returned from Australia, I finally feel okay about money.
I haven't felt that way since...well, never.
So...as I sit here and listen to the Wings vs Blues game, I am trying to like hell to take that frustration and focus on the fact that I actually may be credit card debt free by June.
HOLY SHIT! That would be awesome.
Listening to the Red Wings vs St. Louis Blues LET'S GO RED WINGS
And I thought, wow, that's pretty powerful.
But today, I let one person @ poor customer service ruin my day. It was really the straw that broke the camel's back for this company. Normally, I'll let the amount of good customer service I've had greatly out weigh the one or two bad experiences I've had, but I couldn't get the frustration out of my head. The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. The less I thought about it, the more it created a mosh pit in my head.
What I should have focused on was the following: my dad became my hero on Friday night when he gave me $500. That was much needed. I'm able to hold my head above water until the 15th. I did my taxes today and I've got over $700 coming to me. That puts a dent into one of my credit cards. I'm getting $100 for concert tickets that I bought back in November back this week. That money will be put toward the deposit for my annual Key West trip. For the first time since I've returned from Australia, I finally feel okay about money.
I haven't felt that way since...well, never.
So...as I sit here and listen to the Wings vs Blues game, I am trying to like hell to take that frustration and focus on the fact that I actually may be credit card debt free by June.
HOLY SHIT! That would be awesome.
Listening to the Red Wings vs St. Louis Blues LET'S GO RED WINGS
01.23.12 - Song of the Day: "Lip Service"
Today's song of the day is "Lip Service" by Jimmy Buffett. There is no audio or video.
So I give you this picture instead...
I kind of feel like the little girl holding the gun. All I need is a willing target.
So I give you this picture instead...
I kind of feel like the little girl holding the gun. All I need is a willing target.
 |
| By Liu Ye |
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Simple Things
I spent a few hours with my funny 2 year old niece. She always makes me laugh. She says exactly what's on her mind without thought and I love it. I hope she keeps her quick wit and sharp tongue as she grows. It is part of what makes her amazing.
She's getting over a stomach virus. She reeks of vomit and it's encrusted in her hair from where she threw up on herself, but we sat on the couch together just talking, well, she talked, and I listened. We watched the first period of the Caps/Pens game, I gave her a bath to wash the vomit out of her hair.
It reminded me that it's the simple things in life we should appreciate
Sitting with a 2 yr old covered in vomit, as gross as it sounds, was wonderful. To see her sad face when she told me she lost her Mickey Mouse necklace was heartbreaking. She might as well have lost her parents and sister. When I asked her what she was going to bring back from her cruise to the Bahamas, she answered, "Probably cereal." When I asked why, she answered, "I like it."
I adore my family time and we're busy, but the time I have with them, is precious. I have wonderful family ties, but not a family that ties me down. We enjoy our simple time with each other. We enjoy encouraging each other's dreams and laughing at our blunders.
Sundays are my simple days...today was simply loving my time with family.
Written while watching Mythbusters
She's getting over a stomach virus. She reeks of vomit and it's encrusted in her hair from where she threw up on herself, but we sat on the couch together just talking, well, she talked, and I listened. We watched the first period of the Caps/Pens game, I gave her a bath to wash the vomit out of her hair.
It reminded me that it's the simple things in life we should appreciate
Sitting with a 2 yr old covered in vomit, as gross as it sounds, was wonderful. To see her sad face when she told me she lost her Mickey Mouse necklace was heartbreaking. She might as well have lost her parents and sister. When I asked her what she was going to bring back from her cruise to the Bahamas, she answered, "Probably cereal." When I asked why, she answered, "I like it."
I adore my family time and we're busy, but the time I have with them, is precious. I have wonderful family ties, but not a family that ties me down. We enjoy our simple time with each other. We enjoy encouraging each other's dreams and laughing at our blunders.
Sundays are my simple days...today was simply loving my time with family.
 |
| I took this photo of Taylor last week. This is one of the simple things we should all appreciate. Sometimes happiness is just a good cookie away. |
Written while watching Mythbusters
Saturday, January 21, 2012
01.21.12 - Song of the Day: "He Just Wants to Cha Cha"
Today's song of the day is is He Just Wants to Cha Cha by Michael Andrew & Swingerhead.
I love figure skating. Mock me if you must, but I am not ashamed of it.
I was very fortunate to work on four of the Ice Wars, a figure skating competition with world & Olympic skaters.
In the 2004, Ice Wars, I got to watch Brian Boitano, my favorite skater, perform to this song. Ever since then, when I listen to it, I get in a better mood. Since I've been dealing with a killer sinus headache, I need something to make me smile today. This song is it.
I love figure skating. Mock me if you must, but I am not ashamed of it.
I was very fortunate to work on four of the Ice Wars, a figure skating competition with world & Olympic skaters.
In the 2004, Ice Wars, I got to watch Brian Boitano, my favorite skater, perform to this song. Ever since then, when I listen to it, I get in a better mood. Since I've been dealing with a killer sinus headache, I need something to make me smile today. This song is it.
Friday, January 20, 2012
01.20.12 - Song of the Day: "Scheiße"
This song always puts me in a good mood...so kick off your Friday night right!
"If you're a strong female, you don't need permission..."
"If you're a strong female, you don't need permission..."
Thursday, January 19, 2012
One of Those Days
Today was "one of those days..."
Nothing crazy happened. No deadline popped up. No last minute requests. No one threw me under the bus. Nothing bad happened. No work stress. No, crap, I forgot to do that reminders once I leave work.
Nothing.
I answered a few dumb emails. Seriously, if people could just take a moment to reflect before they hit send, they'd realize they didn't need to send the email. This is daily and I'm use to it.
I had a great brainstorming session with my sales manager & morning show. Shared hockey talk & laughs with the boss. Cut my to do list down to a few items and knocked my emails into single digits!!
But today, just got under my skin.
I tweeted "Days like this....make me think that hard drugs aren't a bad idea & violence. I need Chinese throwing stars & a willing target #IAskedNicely"
I can't tell you what irritated me. I can't tell you why I was irritated. I just was and I acknowledged it. Today was a good day, but my feelings toward the day was eh. I shared that with a co-worker and she said she understood, she was having the same day and that when I figured out what was wrong to let her know.
I started thinking that my friend, Holly, might not be crazy when she asked me if I was depressed. Especially now that Australia was over and I was back. She likened it to brides who go into depression after planning for something so long. I've been dreaming about Australia for 15+ years and planning it for the last 365 days.
Could I have post-travel depression?? Maybe I do. Maybe I'm just worrying about how to pay things. Maybe I'm just worried on how I'll survive until Feb 15th? Maybe I'm just worried when I'll get my finances back on track. I'm hoping that Feb will get me back on track financially. I think then, the irritation will be gone. I spent a lot to make a dream come true. I don't regret that at all. I don't regret everything I had to sacrifice and still sacrifice for that dream. Everything was so worth it. I can't even begin to describe or explain or tell how amazing the trip to Australia was. People ask me, what was my favorite part and was it worth it all. One word. YES. I'd do it all over again today if I could.
I left a piece of my heart and soul in Australia. Another piece of my heart and soul is in Key West. I will currently slave away at my job until I can go back to both.
Listening to the NY Rangers vs Pittsburgh Penguins game
Nothing crazy happened. No deadline popped up. No last minute requests. No one threw me under the bus. Nothing bad happened. No work stress. No, crap, I forgot to do that reminders once I leave work.
Nothing.
I answered a few dumb emails. Seriously, if people could just take a moment to reflect before they hit send, they'd realize they didn't need to send the email. This is daily and I'm use to it.
I had a great brainstorming session with my sales manager & morning show. Shared hockey talk & laughs with the boss. Cut my to do list down to a few items and knocked my emails into single digits!!
But today, just got under my skin.
I tweeted "Days like this....make me think that hard drugs aren't a bad idea & violence. I need Chinese throwing stars & a willing target #IAskedNicely"
I can't tell you what irritated me. I can't tell you why I was irritated. I just was and I acknowledged it. Today was a good day, but my feelings toward the day was eh. I shared that with a co-worker and she said she understood, she was having the same day and that when I figured out what was wrong to let her know.
I started thinking that my friend, Holly, might not be crazy when she asked me if I was depressed. Especially now that Australia was over and I was back. She likened it to brides who go into depression after planning for something so long. I've been dreaming about Australia for 15+ years and planning it for the last 365 days.
Could I have post-travel depression?? Maybe I do. Maybe I'm just worrying about how to pay things. Maybe I'm just worried on how I'll survive until Feb 15th? Maybe I'm just worried when I'll get my finances back on track. I'm hoping that Feb will get me back on track financially. I think then, the irritation will be gone. I spent a lot to make a dream come true. I don't regret that at all. I don't regret everything I had to sacrifice and still sacrifice for that dream. Everything was so worth it. I can't even begin to describe or explain or tell how amazing the trip to Australia was. People ask me, what was my favorite part and was it worth it all. One word. YES. I'd do it all over again today if I could.
I left a piece of my heart and soul in Australia. Another piece of my heart and soul is in Key West. I will currently slave away at my job until I can go back to both.
Listening to the NY Rangers vs Pittsburgh Penguins game
01.19.12 - Song of the Day: "Uku" by Dengue Fever
I found this song today, on WNCW. Don't be shocked if I don't always listen to the stations that I work for. I listen to WNCW in the morning for NPR. It's the only way I get my news unless I go to CNN. Often on the drive home, I flip between stations and when I want something off the beaten path, I go to WNCW.
When "Uku" started playing I was instantly thrown back to "Govinda" by Kula Shaker (my favorite song by them) and when their lead singer, Chhom Nimoi, started singing in Khmer, I was taken back to my parents house. There was always music playing when I was growing up. Sometimes it was the American radio, sometimes it was music in mom's native tongue. When I heard, Chhom's voice, I was reminded of my mom's music. I never understood anything they said, but there songs that I liked the beat, the music, etc.
There's something haunting and beautiful about this song & I wanted to share it with everyone.
Dengue Fever
When "Uku" started playing I was instantly thrown back to "Govinda" by Kula Shaker (my favorite song by them) and when their lead singer, Chhom Nimoi, started singing in Khmer, I was taken back to my parents house. There was always music playing when I was growing up. Sometimes it was the American radio, sometimes it was music in mom's native tongue. When I heard, Chhom's voice, I was reminded of my mom's music. I never understood anything they said, but there songs that I liked the beat, the music, etc.
There's something haunting and beautiful about this song & I wanted to share it with everyone.
Dengue Fever
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Why Do I Write?
Last night, a writer & blogger I follow on Twitter, The Bloggess retweeted some tweets with the hash tag #blog2012 and were reasons others write. It was great to see the reasons other writers write.
It got me to thinking...why do I write?
Do I write to quiet the cast of characters that live in my head?
Do I write to share what I'm feeling, thinking, dreaming, etc?
Do I write to vent?
Do I write to replace the urge to punch someone or cause harm to someone?
Do I write to give my soul peace?
Do I write for me? for others? for a legacy I may leave behind?
The answer to all the above is YES.
This site, is a journal to the world that I want to share. Investigate the dark places of my mind and the world with me. Tread carefully and bring a flashlight. Celebrate the fantastic with me. Shed tears with me. Believe in the Universe with me. As much as I write for me, I write for the person that takes a moment out of their life to share mine. (For those reading, I am honored and humbled that you took the time to come to my site.)
My creative writing (novels, poems, stories, etc), these characters in my head and their voices want their story told. I'm just a vessel for them. I write so they can be heard. I write because their stories seem so great and magical to me that I want to share them with the world. I may never hit the NY Bestseller list, but at least I tell the story, even if the only place anyone can read it, is here on this site.
I have reality job (aka real job and what I do in my real life...aka reality) but I'm a writer by day and by night. Today, I got two great titles for novels just be listening to music and reading a website. The moment I heard/saw, characters started dancing in my head along with story ideas. New characters and ideas are like children on a sugar high. I have to calm them down and put them in line or in a room where they can grow and play until I'm ready for their story. Some are just worth moving to the front of the line and dropping everything.
One of my favorite picture that I took while in Australia (posted below) has inspired a scene in my head. I think about it EVERYDAY but I have yet to put pen to paper or finger to keyboards to start it. There is something missing. I don't know what it is, but a key piece is missing. Maybe it's the character's voice or the tone of the novel, something is missing. When I started Barfly, I had a vision of a woman sitting at a bar alone, and I didn't know where the novel was heading until I saw a man across the room in suit. Pieces fell together. I have the scene for the new novel, but don't have a character. It's hard to write without a character.
Now I've gotten off on bit of a tangent...apologies...writing does that to me...
I leave you with the picture that is the inspiration behind my new novel. I hope to have it finished by March 15th. (Big goal. Big dream)
Listening to "Singin' Man" by Gareth Asher
It got me to thinking...why do I write?
Do I write to quiet the cast of characters that live in my head?
Do I write to share what I'm feeling, thinking, dreaming, etc?
Do I write to vent?
Do I write to replace the urge to punch someone or cause harm to someone?
Do I write to give my soul peace?
Do I write for me? for others? for a legacy I may leave behind?
The answer to all the above is YES.
This site, is a journal to the world that I want to share. Investigate the dark places of my mind and the world with me. Tread carefully and bring a flashlight. Celebrate the fantastic with me. Shed tears with me. Believe in the Universe with me. As much as I write for me, I write for the person that takes a moment out of their life to share mine. (For those reading, I am honored and humbled that you took the time to come to my site.)
My creative writing (novels, poems, stories, etc), these characters in my head and their voices want their story told. I'm just a vessel for them. I write so they can be heard. I write because their stories seem so great and magical to me that I want to share them with the world. I may never hit the NY Bestseller list, but at least I tell the story, even if the only place anyone can read it, is here on this site.
I have reality job (aka real job and what I do in my real life...aka reality) but I'm a writer by day and by night. Today, I got two great titles for novels just be listening to music and reading a website. The moment I heard/saw, characters started dancing in my head along with story ideas. New characters and ideas are like children on a sugar high. I have to calm them down and put them in line or in a room where they can grow and play until I'm ready for their story. Some are just worth moving to the front of the line and dropping everything.
One of my favorite picture that I took while in Australia (posted below) has inspired a scene in my head. I think about it EVERYDAY but I have yet to put pen to paper or finger to keyboards to start it. There is something missing. I don't know what it is, but a key piece is missing. Maybe it's the character's voice or the tone of the novel, something is missing. When I started Barfly, I had a vision of a woman sitting at a bar alone, and I didn't know where the novel was heading until I saw a man across the room in suit. Pieces fell together. I have the scene for the new novel, but don't have a character. It's hard to write without a character.
Now I've gotten off on bit of a tangent...apologies...writing does that to me...
I leave you with the picture that is the inspiration behind my new novel. I hope to have it finished by March 15th. (Big goal. Big dream)
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| Waverley Cemetery | Bronte, NSW This cemetery is absolutely breathtaking. |
01.18.12 - Song of the Day: "Get it Right" by Gareth Asher featuring Nappy Roots
With SOPA & PIPA and just reading anything about who's running for office, who's paying higher taxes and so on...this song is for those that currently run our country, for those that want to run our country, for those that strive to make a difference and to those that are making a difference...
Let's Get it Right...
Gareth Asher - website | Twitter | Facebook | YouTube
Let's Get it Right...
Gareth Asher - website | Twitter | Facebook | YouTube
Missed 3 Weeks But I Think I'm Back
It's been a while since I've posted...okay, it's been a long while.
I was in Australia from Dec 14th-Jan 3rd and it was hard to keep up with hockey. The only thing I know is that I won 2 out of 3 weeks in fantasy hockey and that the Rangers won the Winter Classic Game.
Jumping back into hockey after being gone for 3 weeks was hard. I wasn't up to date on players, injuries, suspensions etc for my favorite team nor the sport itself. It took me 2 good weeks to get back into the swing of things for hockey. Now, I finally feel that I'm caught up to speed and back on track.
My friends that went with me asked me what I missed most about home and they had great answers like family, and though I missed my family, I missed hockey more.
When I do move to Australia, at least I know they have hockey teams and that I can get NHL Center Ice on my computer!
I was in Australia from Dec 14th-Jan 3rd and it was hard to keep up with hockey. The only thing I know is that I won 2 out of 3 weeks in fantasy hockey and that the Rangers won the Winter Classic Game.
Jumping back into hockey after being gone for 3 weeks was hard. I wasn't up to date on players, injuries, suspensions etc for my favorite team nor the sport itself. It took me 2 good weeks to get back into the swing of things for hockey. Now, I finally feel that I'm caught up to speed and back on track.
My friends that went with me asked me what I missed most about home and they had great answers like family, and though I missed my family, I missed hockey more.
When I do move to Australia, at least I know they have hockey teams and that I can get NHL Center Ice on my computer!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
01.17.12 - Song of the Day: "Doin' My Thing" by Luke Bryan
I do have a country music loving side to my rock girl side. I'm not a fan of all country and I can't even say I'm a fan of Kenny Chesney or Keith Urban though I do have songs by both in my iTunes, but I can say I have all of Luke Bryan's albums. I just like his music and the lyrics to a lot of his songs. They are fun and make me travel to another time or place, much like my favorite artist, Jimmy Buffett.
So today's song is a reminder for me to do my thing.
So today's song is a reminder for me to do my thing.
Monday, January 16, 2012
01.16.12 - Song of the Day: "Take It Easy" by The Eagles
This was my motto today. I took the day easy...sitting on my couch watching movies with my dog and my dad's dog who I'm dog sitting.
7 Life Lessons I Learned from The X-Files
I am a geek. I don't care who knows it. I was a huge X-Files nerd when the series was on and I've learned that, I still am. After watching all 202 episodes of The X-Files, which is 9 glorious seasons and both movies, here are some life lessons that I've learned:
Believe
Mulder believed in aliens and a government conspiracy to cover up the existence of aliens and so on. I've learned that we should all just believe there is something out there that is greater than we are. The Universe is so grand that we humans on earth have to be small minded to believe that there is not other intelligent life out amongst space.
New people
People come into your life and people leave. Accept it. Mulder disappeared for almost an entire season & Scully got John Doggett as a partner. He bettered her. That new friend will make you grow.
All girls should aim to be smart like Scully
I think she's an ideal role model. Not only could she shoot, fight, and throw a mean hook, but she didn't get by on her looks. She got by on her brains. She used her smarts to get through life. Those are the people who better the world.
Trust no one isn't always the way to live
Sometimes it's just nice to believe that not everyone is out to stick the back of your neck with a stiletto. There is always one person who will stand by you with no intentions of anything other than honesty. When you find that one person, never let them go.
Truth will prevail
Tell the truth. You don't have to worry about covering up a web of lies if you do.
The dead never leave our side and are with us and will guide us when we need it the most.
Never stop fighting.
Believe
Mulder believed in aliens and a government conspiracy to cover up the existence of aliens and so on. I've learned that we should all just believe there is something out there that is greater than we are. The Universe is so grand that we humans on earth have to be small minded to believe that there is not other intelligent life out amongst space.
New people
People come into your life and people leave. Accept it. Mulder disappeared for almost an entire season & Scully got John Doggett as a partner. He bettered her. That new friend will make you grow.
All girls should aim to be smart like Scully
I think she's an ideal role model. Not only could she shoot, fight, and throw a mean hook, but she didn't get by on her looks. She got by on her brains. She used her smarts to get through life. Those are the people who better the world.
Trust no one isn't always the way to live
Sometimes it's just nice to believe that not everyone is out to stick the back of your neck with a stiletto. There is always one person who will stand by you with no intentions of anything other than honesty. When you find that one person, never let them go.
Truth will prevail
Tell the truth. You don't have to worry about covering up a web of lies if you do.
The dead never leave our side and are with us and will guide us when we need it the most.
Never stop fighting.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
01.15.12 - Song of the Day: "Pizza and Wine" by Marvelous 3
This song is nothing more than my final hooray to life as I know it.
Life as I know it?
Today, I finished my day with pizza and wine. Tomorrow, I start my 12 week transformation. I am focusing on dropping some weight, getting in shape, and taking care of myself in healthy lifestyle.
Granted, it's going to be hard as hell. I picked 12 weeks of probably the busiest in 2012. I have a cruise I'm going on in Feb, events I'm working for the station, a concert in ATL, and so on. I just have to stay committed to myself.
I haven't taken care of myself in a while and now it's time. So here's raising the final slice of pizza and wine to the old way of life and a toast to the new way, the better way.
NOTE: Butch Walker is the former lead singer of Marvelous 3 for those who don't know and this is one of the few You Tube videos I could find of it. He starts singing around the minute mark
Life as I know it?
Today, I finished my day with pizza and wine. Tomorrow, I start my 12 week transformation. I am focusing on dropping some weight, getting in shape, and taking care of myself in healthy lifestyle.
Granted, it's going to be hard as hell. I picked 12 weeks of probably the busiest in 2012. I have a cruise I'm going on in Feb, events I'm working for the station, a concert in ATL, and so on. I just have to stay committed to myself.
I haven't taken care of myself in a while and now it's time. So here's raising the final slice of pizza and wine to the old way of life and a toast to the new way, the better way.
NOTE: Butch Walker is the former lead singer of Marvelous 3 for those who don't know and this is one of the few You Tube videos I could find of it. He starts singing around the minute mark
Saturday, January 14, 2012
1 Blog, 2 Songs
This post contains 2 Songs of the Day and awesomeness...
Okay, it at least contains 2 Songs of the Day.
I didn't get to post yesterday's song of the day like I had planned/hoped. I ended up cutting my Friday night short to sit in the ER with friends to make sure another friend's fall on some stairs was nothing serious. As we sat and talked and tried to keep the air light, I realized that though we weren't all friends (some acquaintances, know by association, co-workers, etc), but it didn't matter because when we left, we'd all be friends just through this happenstance. Everything turned out all right. We did the right thing by taking her to the ER. A bump on the head is nothing to laugh off. Trust me, I know first hand how something small can turn into something deadly.
Anyway, this song is for friends. For the ones that we consider our comrades, allies, confidants, partner in crimes, and so on.
January 13th Song of the Day: "You're My Best Friend" by Queen
January 14th Song of the Day: "American Honey" by Lady Antebellum
Today's song of the day is for my oldest niece Riley. I have always thought of her when I hear or listen to this song. I don't get to spend the time with her like I use to. She's 12 going on 25 and is growing like a weed but she's still my little Stinker and always will be. There is nothing I wouldn't do to always have a smile on her face and happiness in her heart. Riley, I love you as big as the sky!
Okay, it at least contains 2 Songs of the Day.
I didn't get to post yesterday's song of the day like I had planned/hoped. I ended up cutting my Friday night short to sit in the ER with friends to make sure another friend's fall on some stairs was nothing serious. As we sat and talked and tried to keep the air light, I realized that though we weren't all friends (some acquaintances, know by association, co-workers, etc), but it didn't matter because when we left, we'd all be friends just through this happenstance. Everything turned out all right. We did the right thing by taking her to the ER. A bump on the head is nothing to laugh off. Trust me, I know first hand how something small can turn into something deadly.
Anyway, this song is for friends. For the ones that we consider our comrades, allies, confidants, partner in crimes, and so on.
January 13th Song of the Day: "You're My Best Friend" by Queen
January 14th Song of the Day: "American Honey" by Lady Antebellum
Today's song of the day is for my oldest niece Riley. I have always thought of her when I hear or listen to this song. I don't get to spend the time with her like I use to. She's 12 going on 25 and is growing like a weed but she's still my little Stinker and always will be. There is nothing I wouldn't do to always have a smile on her face and happiness in her heart. Riley, I love you as big as the sky!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
01.12.12 - Song of the Day: "Shake Senora" by Pitbull
I have a guilty pleasure I am not ashamed to admit. I'm a fan of Pitbull.
I wouldn't know him if he sat down next me, but I like his music. It's not going to change the world or inspire someone to move mountains, but it's a nice fun distraction. I can dance to it or pretend I can dance to it. Sometimes, I just want music that makes me move and the songs I like by him do.
My friends who don't know this about me, will surely be shocked, but those who truly know me, know that I'm a music lover of all kinds even if I lean towards the rock-n-roll side.
This is another side of me. Enjoy.
Living loudly,
~Shelia
I wouldn't know him if he sat down next me, but I like his music. It's not going to change the world or inspire someone to move mountains, but it's a nice fun distraction. I can dance to it or pretend I can dance to it. Sometimes, I just want music that makes me move and the songs I like by him do.
My friends who don't know this about me, will surely be shocked, but those who truly know me, know that I'm a music lover of all kinds even if I lean towards the rock-n-roll side.
This is another side of me. Enjoy.
Living loudly,
~Shelia
My Favorite Albums of 2011
Okay...so it's 12 days late. Which I think is so apropos! 12...2012..oh never mind, I'm a nerd anyway.
In random order and without a lot of reasoning, because I could go on for days.
- Matthew Ryan - I Recall Standing As Though Nothing Could Fall
Matthew could sing the McDonald's Big Mac song and I'd buy it and tell all my friends to buy it. I haven't disliked anything he's released. Fantastic album from Mr. Ryan
Favorite song: "Hey Kid"
- Skybombers - Black Carousel
I discovered this band when they came into the studio for an acoustic performance. They have 2 albums out and I look forward to hearing where they head. Not too punk. Not too rock. Not too pop. Just right.
Favorite songs: Tie between "One for Two" and "Love Me Like You Use To Do"
- Lady GaGa - Born This Way
Roll your eyes if you want, I really loved this album when it was released. I don't care who you are, you know her songs, who she is and let's be honest, girl can sing.
Favorite songs: Tie between "Scheiße" and "The Edge of Glory"
- The Kills - Blood Pressures
I was super stoked when this album came out. This band just has swagger on tape or on stage. Everyone should own this one.
Favorite song: "Nail in My Coffin"
- honeyhoney - Billy Jack
My favorite little duo of music and fun. Banjo, guitars, drums, and more. They are fun to watch live. Fun to listen and a great band. I look forward to what 2012 will bring from them.
Favorite song: "Let's Get Wrecked"
- Grace Askew and the Black Market Goods - Grace Askew and the Black Market Goods
Discovered this artist on WNCW and immediately bought the album. Grace's voice is haunting and sad yet oddly optimistic at times.
Favorite song: "I Remember"
Honorable Mentions
- Burn Halo - Up from the Ashes
I played this album for about 2 months straight. There is something about James Hart's voice that I just love.
Favorite song: "Stuck in a Rut"
EP Honorable Mentions: These were a 3 song EPs, so to me, it doesn't qualify as an album
- Econoline Crush - The People Have Spoken Volume 1
3 new songs from one my favorite Canadian bands
- 26 - Aloha EP
This is a reissue of the song "Aloha" with 2 songs from their 2008 release "Births, Deaths, & Marriages"
In random order and without a lot of reasoning, because I could go on for days.
- Matthew Ryan - I Recall Standing As Though Nothing Could Fall
Matthew could sing the McDonald's Big Mac song and I'd buy it and tell all my friends to buy it. I haven't disliked anything he's released. Fantastic album from Mr. Ryan
Favorite song: "Hey Kid"
- Skybombers - Black Carousel
I discovered this band when they came into the studio for an acoustic performance. They have 2 albums out and I look forward to hearing where they head. Not too punk. Not too rock. Not too pop. Just right.
Favorite songs: Tie between "One for Two" and "Love Me Like You Use To Do"
- Lady GaGa - Born This Way
Roll your eyes if you want, I really loved this album when it was released. I don't care who you are, you know her songs, who she is and let's be honest, girl can sing.
Favorite songs: Tie between "Scheiße" and "The Edge of Glory"
- The Kills - Blood Pressures
I was super stoked when this album came out. This band just has swagger on tape or on stage. Everyone should own this one.
Favorite song: "Nail in My Coffin"
- honeyhoney - Billy Jack
My favorite little duo of music and fun. Banjo, guitars, drums, and more. They are fun to watch live. Fun to listen and a great band. I look forward to what 2012 will bring from them.
Favorite song: "Let's Get Wrecked"
- Grace Askew and the Black Market Goods - Grace Askew and the Black Market Goods
Discovered this artist on WNCW and immediately bought the album. Grace's voice is haunting and sad yet oddly optimistic at times.
Favorite song: "I Remember"
Honorable Mentions
- Burn Halo - Up from the Ashes
I played this album for about 2 months straight. There is something about James Hart's voice that I just love.
Favorite song: "Stuck in a Rut"
- Fort Frances - The Atlas
David McMillin fronts this band and he's got a voice that's soulful, raspy, and a wonderful story teller. This is a full band vs just him. Wonderful album.
Favorite song: "The Ghosts of California"
- Econoline Crush - The People Have Spoken Volume 1
3 new songs from one my favorite Canadian bands
- 26 - Aloha EP
This is a reissue of the song "Aloha" with 2 songs from their 2008 release "Births, Deaths, & Marriages"
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
01.11.12 - Song of the Day: "Days Like This" by Van Morrison
I think the song title says it all, but just in case it doesn't, "My mama told me there would be days like this."
Do What it Takes to Keep a Smile on Your Face
I woke up in bit of a funk this morning. Partly due to the lack of sleep, the headache I feel asleep with, the slight freak out of money now that I'm back from Australia, and how I was suppose to start my reboot of life this week but moved it to next week, dreary weather and so on and so on.
"I want to die with a smile when it comes my turn. I don't want to get weary, I don't want to get bored. Don't want to get tired walking down this road. I've seen that happen so many times. I just want to believe that it still worth trying...I don't care if it kills me, I'm gonna do what it takes, to keep some warmth in my heart and a smile on my face.
David Myles: website | Twitter | Facebook
Then I realized, I can acknowledge the funk and everything I was feeling, but I didn't have to let it rule, ruin, or make my day. It was one of those "turn that frown upside down" moments. I had the choice. I chose good day sunshine despite the rainy weather.
Which made me think of my friend Heather and her tweet about a song I should buy and she followed it with "I can't stop singing it and it sounds so much like you."
The song is called "When It Comes My Turn" by David Myles and it's a dandy song (watch & listen below)! I remembered the lyrics and let it rule and make my day...in a good way of course. Besides, how could you not be in a good mood after listening to it.
Today I learned: I need to do what it takes to keep a smile on my face. If it's listening to music, reading quotes, knowing I have champions in my corner, walking into my boss' office to talk about how bad his favorite hockey team sucks, writing, playing fetch with my dog, or having a glass of wine...it's no one's choice but my own.
We are responsible for our own happiness. Not money. Not friends. Not social media. Not our jobs.
Just us. Just the person that looks back at you in the mirror.
Epiphany...revelation...realization...whatever you want to call it..the fate of your life is in your hands.
Living loudly,
~Shelia
Which made me think of my friend Heather and her tweet about a song I should buy and she followed it with "I can't stop singing it and it sounds so much like you."
The song is called "When It Comes My Turn" by David Myles and it's a dandy song (watch & listen below)! I remembered the lyrics and let it rule and make my day...in a good way of course. Besides, how could you not be in a good mood after listening to it.
Today I learned: I need to do what it takes to keep a smile on my face. If it's listening to music, reading quotes, knowing I have champions in my corner, walking into my boss' office to talk about how bad his favorite hockey team sucks, writing, playing fetch with my dog, or having a glass of wine...it's no one's choice but my own.
We are responsible for our own happiness. Not money. Not friends. Not social media. Not our jobs.
Just us. Just the person that looks back at you in the mirror.
Epiphany...revelation...realization...whatever you want to call it..the fate of your life is in your hands.
Living loudly,
~Shelia
"I want to die with a smile when it comes my turn. I don't want to get weary, I don't want to get bored. Don't want to get tired walking down this road. I've seen that happen so many times. I just want to believe that it still worth trying...I don't care if it kills me, I'm gonna do what it takes, to keep some warmth in my heart and a smile on my face.
David Myles: website | Twitter | Facebook
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
01.10.12 - Song of the Day: "Rewind" by Stereophonics
"If you could rewind your time, would you change your life today?"
I love this band and own every album. This is also one of my favorite songs by them. I try to live my life with no regrets. Sure there are those d'oh moments when I have felt like a complete and utter idiot but even in those, I learned a lesson. There are also those moments where I'd want to bring back those that I have lost, but I know life wouldn't be the same. We might think it could be, but it wouldn't. So, if I could rewind time, I think I would just live a little louder.
Stereophonics: website | Twitter | Facebook | You Tube
I love this band and own every album. This is also one of my favorite songs by them. I try to live my life with no regrets. Sure there are those d'oh moments when I have felt like a complete and utter idiot but even in those, I learned a lesson. There are also those moments where I'd want to bring back those that I have lost, but I know life wouldn't be the same. We might think it could be, but it wouldn't. So, if I could rewind time, I think I would just live a little louder.
Stereophonics: website | Twitter | Facebook | You Tube
Goals of 2012
I don't normally make my "resolutions" vocal because I often fail in doing them. There's nothing more than that one friend or family member who will constantly chides you on your failure, epic or not.
Having said that, I struck out the word resolution and made them goals for myself. Goals are sexier than resolutions. Goals seem easier and my dear friend Amy inspired me to write these goals down and post them as she did on her blog. I don't know if Amy is younger or older than me (I know her birthday, just not what year her awesomeness was born, horrible friend, I know), but age has never meant much to me since I myself don't act my age, but I have always thought of Amy as my older sister from another mister and I always like to do her proud. Besides, she unknowingly holds me accountable for a lot of stuff in my life. (Seriously, no pressure Amy!)
So here are my goals for 2012
...aka the year of me...
or as my good friend, Cristina, said last night "2012 has crazy written all over it." (and I couldn't agree with her more. The energies so far felt from the Universe are amazing)
Goals of 2012
* Finally drop the 20lbs.
I've been trying to get rid these pesky pounds since 2009. I know I can do it and all I have to do is get off of my lazy ass and stop making excuses.
Having said the above, I want to commit to a 5 day work out and doing 7 days of yoga (my favorite).
* Pay off my credit card debt
It's time to make that $6,000 go away PERMANENTLY.
* Write daily here on this blog.
* Write 500 words daily for my writing career.
I have managed to finish 4 novels and have about a dozen in the works, I want to write daily to hone my skills. To be honest, since my mom passed away, I gave this up. Sometimes, writing makes me go into places in my head I'd rather not, but now I know, I'll survive investigating the dark. I just need to take a flashlight with me.
* Finish writing the following novels:
The Night of the Hunter - this has been in my head for 10+ years and really needs to done or I might go insane
The Sound of Madness - the memoirs of an assassin. Nadia might assassinate me in my sleep if I don't tell the world her story.
"New Untitled Novel" - inspired by a photograph I took in Australia
* Finish one of the above novels, shine it to perfection, send it off to agents.
I expect to get a several dozen rejection letters but I know I will get ONE letter that believes, and that's all it takes. One person. One person to start a revolution. One person to open a door. One person to give you a chance.
* Continue to my yearly visits to Key West
This year I have 2 trips planned. It will mark my 4th & 5th visit (Feb & Aug) and it will make my total be 8 times in 10 years. There is something about Key West that makes me just love that place and the magic that slinks through the street of Duvall and the locals.. An adult playground but a place where I can go to regroup myself.
* Travel more
No need to explain this one. Instead of saying, I'll do it when <insert excuse>, I'm just going to do it.
* Love more, Laugh more, and Live more than I ever have. The time is now.
Having said that, I struck out the word resolution and made them goals for myself. Goals are sexier than resolutions. Goals seem easier and my dear friend Amy inspired me to write these goals down and post them as she did on her blog. I don't know if Amy is younger or older than me (I know her birthday, just not what year her awesomeness was born, horrible friend, I know), but age has never meant much to me since I myself don't act my age, but I have always thought of Amy as my older sister from another mister and I always like to do her proud. Besides, she unknowingly holds me accountable for a lot of stuff in my life. (Seriously, no pressure Amy!)
So here are my goals for 2012
...aka the year of me...
or as my good friend, Cristina, said last night "2012 has crazy written all over it." (and I couldn't agree with her more. The energies so far felt from the Universe are amazing)
Goals of 2012
* Finally drop the 20lbs.
I've been trying to get rid these pesky pounds since 2009. I know I can do it and all I have to do is get off of my lazy ass and stop making excuses.
Having said the above, I want to commit to a 5 day work out and doing 7 days of yoga (my favorite).
* Pay off my credit card debt
It's time to make that $6,000 go away PERMANENTLY.
* Write daily here on this blog.
* Write 500 words daily for my writing career.
I have managed to finish 4 novels and have about a dozen in the works, I want to write daily to hone my skills. To be honest, since my mom passed away, I gave this up. Sometimes, writing makes me go into places in my head I'd rather not, but now I know, I'll survive investigating the dark. I just need to take a flashlight with me.
* Finish writing the following novels:
The Night of the Hunter - this has been in my head for 10+ years and really needs to done or I might go insane
The Sound of Madness - the memoirs of an assassin. Nadia might assassinate me in my sleep if I don't tell the world her story.
"New Untitled Novel" - inspired by a photograph I took in Australia
* Finish one of the above novels, shine it to perfection, send it off to agents.
I expect to get a several dozen rejection letters but I know I will get ONE letter that believes, and that's all it takes. One person. One person to start a revolution. One person to open a door. One person to give you a chance.
* Continue to my yearly visits to Key West
This year I have 2 trips planned. It will mark my 4th & 5th visit (Feb & Aug) and it will make my total be 8 times in 10 years. There is something about Key West that makes me just love that place and the magic that slinks through the street of Duvall and the locals.. An adult playground but a place where I can go to regroup myself.
* Travel more
No need to explain this one. Instead of saying, I'll do it when <insert excuse>, I'm just going to do it.
* Love more, Laugh more, and Live more than I ever have. The time is now.
Monday, January 9, 2012
01.09.12 - Song of the Day: "Southern Cross"
This song popped up on Pandora while I was listening to the Jimmy Buffett Channel and it completely changed my mood from crummy to good.
This is one of my favorite Buffett covers and one of my favorite songs. I even have the southern cross tattooed on my arm...an ode to my love of astronomy and the spirit of the sky. It's a permanent reminder to dare to be, to dream, and to live. Sometimes, I forget that even though I just have to look down at my arm. On days I forget, I have music to remind me and sometimes friends too.
So this song is dedicated to the music that can change your mood and to the friends who unknowingly lift your spirits.
Amy, Krissie, Emily Beth, & Christina, thanks for lifting my spirits today.
Jimmy Buffett: website | Twitter | Facebook
This is one of my favorite Buffett covers and one of my favorite songs. I even have the southern cross tattooed on my arm...an ode to my love of astronomy and the spirit of the sky. It's a permanent reminder to dare to be, to dream, and to live. Sometimes, I forget that even though I just have to look down at my arm. On days I forget, I have music to remind me and sometimes friends too.
So this song is dedicated to the music that can change your mood and to the friends who unknowingly lift your spirits.
Amy, Krissie, Emily Beth, & Christina, thanks for lifting my spirits today.
Jimmy Buffett: website | Twitter | Facebook
Sunday, January 8, 2012
01.08.12 - Song of the Day: "Day Dreamer" by Donavon Frankenreiter
In keeping with the dreamer theme of the day, this post and this song is dedicated to the dreamers.
"Keep on moving, if you gotta go,
Just as long as you stay with the flow.
Be somewhere where you want to be
Keep on grooving because that's the key"
"Keep on moving, if you gotta go,
Just as long as you stay with the flow.
Be somewhere where you want to be
Keep on grooving because that's the key"
Daydream Believer
As I was returning from my walk with Nick, a fabulous fellow asked me as he passed me, "Do you know dreams last for so long even after you're gone?"
I thought a moment and then answered, "Yes."
I then asked him what brought on this thought and he answered "I heard the line in a song and bottomless mimosas which actually does have a bottom."
I laughed and told him to have a good evening and before he walked into his apartment, he said, "Remember dreams last for so long..."
And his partner from the top of the hallway said, "even after you're gone."
I rounded the corner with a smile on my face.
The neighbor, who I don't know and never met until that very moment, could have walked on by me and said nothing, but he chose to say something and it made my day. I'm a dreamer. I day dream about all sorts of things. I dream big. I ask for the galaxy and hope to catch a falling star. I believe in the power of dreams and if that makes me a quack in others eyes, then those eyes are not friends of mine.
Some people have their power and wealth to get by on this earth. Some have only their belief in themselves and their dreams. And somehow, I think the latter accomplish so much more in their lives because they believe in something bigger than they are.
This post is dedicated to all the dreamers. Keep dreaming. Keep staring at the clouds and believing. The Universe is listening and believing in you as you listen and believe in it.
I thought a moment and then answered, "Yes."
I then asked him what brought on this thought and he answered "I heard the line in a song and bottomless mimosas which actually does have a bottom."
I laughed and told him to have a good evening and before he walked into his apartment, he said, "Remember dreams last for so long..."
And his partner from the top of the hallway said, "even after you're gone."
I rounded the corner with a smile on my face.
The neighbor, who I don't know and never met until that very moment, could have walked on by me and said nothing, but he chose to say something and it made my day. I'm a dreamer. I day dream about all sorts of things. I dream big. I ask for the galaxy and hope to catch a falling star. I believe in the power of dreams and if that makes me a quack in others eyes, then those eyes are not friends of mine.
Some people have their power and wealth to get by on this earth. Some have only their belief in themselves and their dreams. And somehow, I think the latter accomplish so much more in their lives because they believe in something bigger than they are.
This post is dedicated to all the dreamers. Keep dreaming. Keep staring at the clouds and believing. The Universe is listening and believing in you as you listen and believe in it.
 |
| Despite the crashing and dangerous waves, he never stopped fishing on this rock. Crazy, mad, brave or courageous...I liked that he kept on trying. Taken in Australia December 2011 |
Saturday, January 7, 2012
01.07.12 - Song of the Day: "Family Affair" by Mary J Blige
This song is a shout out to the family that I was born with and the family that I call friends.
Love your faces!!!
Love your faces!!!
Friday, January 6, 2012
01.06.12 - Song of the Day: "Fresh Green Freedom" by Xavier Rudd
I woke up with this song in my head. It was perfect accompaniment on my morning walk with my dog, Nick. The only thing missing was an ocean view.
I discovered Xavier Rudd last April when honeyhoney opened for him at Neighborhood Theatre. This was another artist of, listened to and bought every album available.
This song is just a reminder to me to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment even if I can't be taking a deep breath and enjoying the moment on a shore somewhere.
So as the lyric says: "Can you come to this garden, share with me this beautiful day, listen to the birds sing softly, lay with me and drift away. Follow me to the ocean, share with me this beautiful day, listen to the waves break gently, lay with me and drift away."
Xavier Rudd: website | Twitter | Facebook | You Tube
I discovered Xavier Rudd last April when honeyhoney opened for him at Neighborhood Theatre. This was another artist of, listened to and bought every album available.
This song is just a reminder to me to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment even if I can't be taking a deep breath and enjoying the moment on a shore somewhere.
So as the lyric says: "Can you come to this garden, share with me this beautiful day, listen to the birds sing softly, lay with me and drift away. Follow me to the ocean, share with me this beautiful day, listen to the waves break gently, lay with me and drift away."
Xavier Rudd: website | Twitter | Facebook | You Tube
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Songs of My Life - December 2011
A little late since I was in Australia...but here are the songs of my life for December 2011.
In the Summertime by Thirsty Merc
An perfect song to kick off the December mix especially since when I would arrive to Australia it would be there summer and the band is from Australia as well.
Love the lyric, "I'll dream until my head weighs sixteen tons and when I wake some time in June, I'll say, take me back to the sweet times, the hot nights, everything will be all right in the summer time...and even if I have to wait until next year, don't care, I'll meet you there."
Dream Life of Rand McNally by Jason Mraz
Another song for my Australia inspiration. Who wouldn't want to travel all the maps of the world that Rand McNally put out?
Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless
This song came to my attention on a email from a label or some music based site pushing this band. I never really paid any attention to the band since it was a Hollywood actress looking to front a band, but this song is good.
Gold on the Ceiling by The Black Keys
What a booty shaking song!! If you aren't toe tapping or moving your hips a little to this song, you better have your soul checked...and when I mean soul, I mean the funk in your soul.
Immigrant Song by Karen O, Trent Reznor, & Atticus Ross
A - Immigrant Song is my 2nd favorite Led Zep song (Tangerine being 1st). B - This cover is bad ass.
Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue
Will always be one of my Top 5 Crue songs and a reminder to live life to the fullest!
How Soon is Now by The Smiths
I will always love, love, love this song.
Ça va ça va by lKarl Zéro
This song was in an episode of Season 9 of The X-Files and it just stuck with me the entire episode and the episode itself is one of my favorite ones of the entire series.
Shake Senora by Pitbull
I will admit without shame that my guilty pleasure is Pitbull. I listened to this song on the flight from ATL to LAX. Myself, Suzanne, & Heather had a little dance party in our seat to this song.
Loca People by Sak Noel
This song was playing in a store in Byron Bay and the 3 of us all at once were like WTF? After that, it became our theme song for the rest of Australia
Down Under by Men at Work
We heard this song on the radio traveling back to Sydney and I said, finally some of the song finally makes sense! Especially the vegemite sandwich and chunder.
In the Summertime by Thirsty Merc
An perfect song to kick off the December mix especially since when I would arrive to Australia it would be there summer and the band is from Australia as well.
Love the lyric, "I'll dream until my head weighs sixteen tons and when I wake some time in June, I'll say, take me back to the sweet times, the hot nights, everything will be all right in the summer time...and even if I have to wait until next year, don't care, I'll meet you there."
Dream Life of Rand McNally by Jason Mraz
Another song for my Australia inspiration. Who wouldn't want to travel all the maps of the world that Rand McNally put out?
Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless
This song came to my attention on a email from a label or some music based site pushing this band. I never really paid any attention to the band since it was a Hollywood actress looking to front a band, but this song is good.
Gold on the Ceiling by The Black Keys
What a booty shaking song!! If you aren't toe tapping or moving your hips a little to this song, you better have your soul checked...and when I mean soul, I mean the funk in your soul.
Immigrant Song by Karen O, Trent Reznor, & Atticus Ross
A - Immigrant Song is my 2nd favorite Led Zep song (Tangerine being 1st). B - This cover is bad ass.
Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue
Will always be one of my Top 5 Crue songs and a reminder to live life to the fullest!
How Soon is Now by The Smiths
I will always love, love, love this song.
Ça va ça va by lKarl Zéro
This song was in an episode of Season 9 of The X-Files and it just stuck with me the entire episode and the episode itself is one of my favorite ones of the entire series.
Shake Senora by Pitbull
I will admit without shame that my guilty pleasure is Pitbull. I listened to this song on the flight from ATL to LAX. Myself, Suzanne, & Heather had a little dance party in our seat to this song.
Loca People by Sak Noel
This song was playing in a store in Byron Bay and the 3 of us all at once were like WTF? After that, it became our theme song for the rest of Australia
Down Under by Men at Work
We heard this song on the radio traveling back to Sydney and I said, finally some of the song finally makes sense! Especially the vegemite sandwich and chunder.
01.05.12 - Song of the Day: "A New Beginning" by 26
For some reason, today, I felt like I should I start posting a song a day. A song that inspires me or motivates me. A song that gets me through the day or that I just like.
When I heard this song today, I thought it was appropriate for what I was feeling at the exact moment it was on. It just amplified my feelings and I ended up listening to the album twice. A sign of a good album is when you can listen to it over and over again without once reaching up to change any song or the album itself.
I discovered 26, when a writer I follow on Twitter, posted the video for this song on Twitter. I watched and listened and fell in love with the song, and then turned around and bought every CD from the band.
Yep, I thought they were that good.
So to kick off the song of the day, I give you "A New Beginning" by 26.
This song is where I feel I am at in my life...I am at a new beginning...a new journey mentally, physically, and emotionally.
These lyrics sum up my feelings: "We're all a little insane. I'd love to say I'm sorry. I'd love to say I'm wrong...I wished upon the stars, that filled the sky but they were only satellites..."
26: website | Twitter | Facebook | You Tube
When I heard this song today, I thought it was appropriate for what I was feeling at the exact moment it was on. It just amplified my feelings and I ended up listening to the album twice. A sign of a good album is when you can listen to it over and over again without once reaching up to change any song or the album itself.
I discovered 26, when a writer I follow on Twitter, posted the video for this song on Twitter. I watched and listened and fell in love with the song, and then turned around and bought every CD from the band.
Yep, I thought they were that good.
So to kick off the song of the day, I give you "A New Beginning" by 26.
This song is where I feel I am at in my life...I am at a new beginning...a new journey mentally, physically, and emotionally.
These lyrics sum up my feelings: "We're all a little insane. I'd love to say I'm sorry. I'd love to say I'm wrong...I wished upon the stars, that filled the sky but they were only satellites..."
26: website | Twitter | Facebook | You Tube
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Strangers to Friends in Australia
This is just a shout out to all the wonderful people I met on this journey.
* ECU on flight to Australia: Never really found out his name and only called him ECU from his shirt but he was Australian and talked to us about the flight, things to do, things not to do, and how to enjoy our time.
* Jay @ 34 Degrees in Bondi: your smile and sparkle in your eye on our 1st day set the tone for the people we met along the way. You are absolutely the best! Hope the waves are always good to you.
* Stu, Duncan, Claire & her husband in Bondi: thank you Brits & Irishman for getting us hammered on our last night, for showing us the darkest damn club in Bondi, and for partying with us.
* Leo from Utah in Coffs Harbour: our 1st fellow American! Thanks for the laughter and toboggan rides.
* Ben & Ella in Coffs Harbour: father and daughter duo of awesome. Ben thank you for your advice on Byron Bay and the offer to help us if we needed anything. You're right...Byron Bay was the ducks guts. Ella thank you for our very first Xmas wishes. I hope you got everything you wanted from Santa.
* Frank from Amsterdam in Coffs Harbour: thank you for lessons in Dutch and stupid card drinking games
* Ben @ Aquarius Backpackers in Byron Bay: thank you for chilling our tequila shots and putting up with our questions after a long drive.
* Scott in Byron Bay: thank you for being the 1st Aussie to make fun of my name. Toohey's on me anytime mate.
* Robbie, Josko, & Clancy in Byron Bay: thank you fellas for going on our pub crawl with us. Also Robbie, thanks for the song "Don't Tip" and by the way it's Orion's Belt not a tea cup.
* John, Lourcan, James in Byron Bay: to our Xmas Day drinking partners in crime. What can I say about you 3 Irishmen transplanted into Australia? Other than you guys were fantastic! We shared champagne at the end of the line and who knew that would lead to an all day drinking Xmas Day extravaganza with boogie boarding and beach time! May your future travels be fun filled and safe. Also, glad the jump box worked out for you guys.
* Additional shout to John: thank you for the great conversations. Was sad to have the night end. Could have listened to you talk well into the morning sun.
* Guy from Caringbah at Gettaway Car Rental: thank you for your courtesy and giving us a lift to the train station. Chivalry at its best sir!
* Carlos from NYC in Bondi @ the Bucket List: American #2 who sang take your shirt off twist it around your head, spin it like a helicopter...at least you knew where NC was on a map!
* Shaun from Pub Metro in Sydney: I hope that you and your brother get to enjoy your country as my friends and I did. And thank you for playing our silly "guess the bartender's age" game.
* Scottish Stag Party @ Pub Metro in Sydney: Lord you guys were funny. Just note for future reference that NC accents do not sound like Boston or NY accents.
* Reidy in Bondi: so glad to finally meet you in person. Thank you for your suggestions on things to do. Continue to tweet about "naked" cartwheels and posting amazing photos. Glad you got to finally see the Foo Fighters too! You will always have someone to buy you a beer here in the States or when I return to Australia. I also hope you get the dog.
* Troy & Maxi in Bondi: great talking to you fellas and to see that you guys always had one eye on the beach even though you were off of work. Props to you guys!
* Hoppo & Stacey in Bondi: Great to meet you both. Sorry we crashed your after work drinks.
* The Melbourne Girls - Kate, Leah, Tess, Tamie, Lisa (please forgive me for leaving anyone out, I killed that brain cell on NYE): so great to meet all of you. You will also have friends in the States should you visit. Thank you for celebrating New Years Day Day with us! Wish only the best for you girls!
* Nick from Maleny: we actually didn't get to meet but you were a very important part of our journey with all your Twitter and email suggestions. We owe you when you hit the States and I will make sure that the kindness and thoughtfulness you showed us is returned. I can't thank you enough for everything! Can't wait to hear the new stuff!! And I still want to send you something as a token of our thanks!
* ECU on flight to Australia: Never really found out his name and only called him ECU from his shirt but he was Australian and talked to us about the flight, things to do, things not to do, and how to enjoy our time.
* Jay @ 34 Degrees in Bondi: your smile and sparkle in your eye on our 1st day set the tone for the people we met along the way. You are absolutely the best! Hope the waves are always good to you.
* Stu, Duncan, Claire & her husband in Bondi: thank you Brits & Irishman for getting us hammered on our last night, for showing us the darkest damn club in Bondi, and for partying with us.
* Leo from Utah in Coffs Harbour: our 1st fellow American! Thanks for the laughter and toboggan rides.
* Ben & Ella in Coffs Harbour: father and daughter duo of awesome. Ben thank you for your advice on Byron Bay and the offer to help us if we needed anything. You're right...Byron Bay was the ducks guts. Ella thank you for our very first Xmas wishes. I hope you got everything you wanted from Santa.
* Frank from Amsterdam in Coffs Harbour: thank you for lessons in Dutch and stupid card drinking games
* Ben @ Aquarius Backpackers in Byron Bay: thank you for chilling our tequila shots and putting up with our questions after a long drive.
* Scott in Byron Bay: thank you for being the 1st Aussie to make fun of my name. Toohey's on me anytime mate.
* Robbie, Josko, & Clancy in Byron Bay: thank you fellas for going on our pub crawl with us. Also Robbie, thanks for the song "Don't Tip" and by the way it's Orion's Belt not a tea cup.
* John, Lourcan, James in Byron Bay: to our Xmas Day drinking partners in crime. What can I say about you 3 Irishmen transplanted into Australia? Other than you guys were fantastic! We shared champagne at the end of the line and who knew that would lead to an all day drinking Xmas Day extravaganza with boogie boarding and beach time! May your future travels be fun filled and safe. Also, glad the jump box worked out for you guys.
* Additional shout to John: thank you for the great conversations. Was sad to have the night end. Could have listened to you talk well into the morning sun.
* Guy from Caringbah at Gettaway Car Rental: thank you for your courtesy and giving us a lift to the train station. Chivalry at its best sir!
* Carlos from NYC in Bondi @ the Bucket List: American #2 who sang take your shirt off twist it around your head, spin it like a helicopter...at least you knew where NC was on a map!
* Shaun from Pub Metro in Sydney: I hope that you and your brother get to enjoy your country as my friends and I did. And thank you for playing our silly "guess the bartender's age" game.
* Scottish Stag Party @ Pub Metro in Sydney: Lord you guys were funny. Just note for future reference that NC accents do not sound like Boston or NY accents.
* Reidy in Bondi: so glad to finally meet you in person. Thank you for your suggestions on things to do. Continue to tweet about "naked" cartwheels and posting amazing photos. Glad you got to finally see the Foo Fighters too! You will always have someone to buy you a beer here in the States or when I return to Australia. I also hope you get the dog.
* Troy & Maxi in Bondi: great talking to you fellas and to see that you guys always had one eye on the beach even though you were off of work. Props to you guys!
* Hoppo & Stacey in Bondi: Great to meet you both. Sorry we crashed your after work drinks.
* The Melbourne Girls - Kate, Leah, Tess, Tamie, Lisa (please forgive me for leaving anyone out, I killed that brain cell on NYE): so great to meet all of you. You will also have friends in the States should you visit. Thank you for celebrating New Years Day Day with us! Wish only the best for you girls!
* Nick from Maleny: we actually didn't get to meet but you were a very important part of our journey with all your Twitter and email suggestions. We owe you when you hit the States and I will make sure that the kindness and thoughtfulness you showed us is returned. I can't thank you enough for everything! Can't wait to hear the new stuff!! And I still want to send you something as a token of our thanks!
Barfly: Music Playlist
This was the soundtrack to Barfly
Barfly by Ray LaMontagne
This song truly inspired the first chapter of the book. I was listening to the song and watching the rain fall outside. The first chapter just flowed from my fingertips.
I loved the lyrics: "Slow down, you're moving to fast. Kiss me before you go, I'm going nowhere baby."
Pizza and Wine by Marvelous 3
This song title gave me the idea for Stellan and Anna's first date.
Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad by U2
This song is how I imagined Anna would feel as she drinks.
Easily Bruised by Matthew Barber
The lyrics kind of put me in the mindset of how two people feel at the beginning of a relationship. Cautious because we're all easily bruised.
You Sexy Thing by Stereophonics
A fantastic cover and when I heard it, I could hear Anna singing this and asking these questions in her head to "Mr. Beautiful" before she discovers his name is Stellan.
God of Wine by Third Eye Blind
Dancing with the Women at the Bar by Whiskeytown
Good Times by Tommy Lee featuring Butch Walker
I could hear Anna saying this to Stellan. "Don't let me stay in a place where this hate can steal my soul."
Summer Wine by The Corrs
Can't Stop, Gotta Date with Hate by Lostprophets
I really liked the lyrics: "I don't wanna wait or leave it up to fate 'cause I just wanna watch you all night." I could picture either Anna or Stellan telling the other that.
Under the Milky Way by The Church
I could probably use this song in all my writing playlist, but I could picture this song playing in the background of any scene I was writing with Roman and Anna. "Wish I knew you were looking for, might've what you would find..."
Weak in the Knees by Serena Ryder
This song inspired so much of how Anna felt for Stellan. She was weak in the knees when she first saw him and I could picture her walking up to Stellan and kissing him in front of all his friends like the song says.
Afterglow by INXS
Fire by Augustana
The song is one big emotion of desire. It just fit the story.
Majoring in Minors by Sugarcult
Shaking by Sugarcult
This song to me, just fit the story on a lyric level.
Scratch by Kendall Payne
This song would be the song Anna would play for Stellan after it all goes to hell. She would ask him to start over from scratch.
The Absence of Your Company by Kim Richey
I pictured Anna sitting in her apartment playing this song over and over. Trying to find a meaning to her life without Stellan.
So At Last by Butch Walker
I imagine this song playing while Anna is in the parking garage.
Always All Ways (Apologies, Glances, & Messed Up Chances) by Lostprophets
This song would be playing at the end of the book. It would be Anna's apology song.
Barfly by Ray LaMontagne
This song truly inspired the first chapter of the book. I was listening to the song and watching the rain fall outside. The first chapter just flowed from my fingertips.
I loved the lyrics: "Slow down, you're moving to fast. Kiss me before you go, I'm going nowhere baby."
Pizza and Wine by Marvelous 3
This song title gave me the idea for Stellan and Anna's first date.
Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad by U2
This song is how I imagined Anna would feel as she drinks.
Easily Bruised by Matthew Barber
The lyrics kind of put me in the mindset of how two people feel at the beginning of a relationship. Cautious because we're all easily bruised.
You Sexy Thing by Stereophonics
A fantastic cover and when I heard it, I could hear Anna singing this and asking these questions in her head to "Mr. Beautiful" before she discovers his name is Stellan.
God of Wine by Third Eye Blind
Dancing with the Women at the Bar by Whiskeytown
Good Times by Tommy Lee featuring Butch Walker
I could hear Anna saying this to Stellan. "Don't let me stay in a place where this hate can steal my soul."
Summer Wine by The Corrs
Can't Stop, Gotta Date with Hate by Lostprophets
I really liked the lyrics: "I don't wanna wait or leave it up to fate 'cause I just wanna watch you all night." I could picture either Anna or Stellan telling the other that.
Under the Milky Way by The Church
I could probably use this song in all my writing playlist, but I could picture this song playing in the background of any scene I was writing with Roman and Anna. "Wish I knew you were looking for, might've what you would find..."
Weak in the Knees by Serena Ryder
This song inspired so much of how Anna felt for Stellan. She was weak in the knees when she first saw him and I could picture her walking up to Stellan and kissing him in front of all his friends like the song says.
Afterglow by INXS
Fire by Augustana
The song is one big emotion of desire. It just fit the story.
Majoring in Minors by Sugarcult
Shaking by Sugarcult
This song to me, just fit the story on a lyric level.
Scratch by Kendall Payne
This song would be the song Anna would play for Stellan after it all goes to hell. She would ask him to start over from scratch.
The Absence of Your Company by Kim Richey
I pictured Anna sitting in her apartment playing this song over and over. Trying to find a meaning to her life without Stellan.
So At Last by Butch Walker
I imagine this song playing while Anna is in the parking garage.
Always All Ways (Apologies, Glances, & Messed Up Chances) by Lostprophets
This song would be playing at the end of the book. It would be Anna's apology song.
Listen and purchase any song, by clicking on the player
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Barfly: Chapter Twenty-Four
“I am not wearing this dress,” I said and walked into my living room.
Walsh let out a slow whistle.
“Gross, you’re my brother.”
“It does look good on you,” Mika added.
“It’s too tight,” I said, tugging at the waist of the dress. “I’ll suffocate while I’m there. I need to be comfortable while I’m doing this reading. I don’t need to pass out in front of everyone due to lack of oxygen.”
“Go try the other one then.”
I looked at Walsh with begging eyes and he shook his head at me. He pointed at Mika, made a slashing motion at his throat, and shook his head more. Rolling my eyes, I walked back into my bedroom and slammed the door shut.
Once Mika started to like the idea of the way to early book reading, she had decided that everything I had in my closet was atrocious and sent her ass kissing assistant shopping. Half the items he purchased were inappropriate for any woman to wear at any age and the other half were things I would not be caught dead in. She had her useless assistant return everything and went shopping herself. She obviously thought I liked my self-image and purchased items that hugged every inch of my body. My brain laughed at each dress and sighed with relief when I tore them off.
Staring at the last dress, I prayed that I would like it. It was black and it was simple. I slipped the dress over my head and shoulders and sighed as it slide down over my body. I wrapped the red belt around me and smiled at my reflection. Now this was me. “Houston, we have a winner.”
I opened my bedroom door and walked out with a smile beaming across my face. “This is the one.”
“Breakfast at Tiffany’s anyone?” Walsh asked with a smile.
“You like?”
“You look beautiful baby sister.”
“Thank you.”
“Okay, so now the dress hunt is done, I am going to go pick Maddie up and I’ll meet you at the bookstore. Save me a seat up front.”
“I will,” I said as he kissed my forehead. “See you later.”
“How are you going to wear you hair?” Mika asked once Walsh had left.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I’ll figure it out,” I said. “Don’t you have to go get ready?”
“I am ready,” she answered. “I’m leaving here and heading straight to the bookstore to make sure everything is set.”
“Then leave so I can get ready.”
“You sure you don’t need anything?”
I nodded. “I’ll see you at the book store.”
“All right. Dress looks great. Walsh is right too. It’s very Hepburn.”
“Thank you too,” I said, following her to the door.
“You sure you’re all set?”
“Yes,” I sighed, pushing her out of the door. I closed and locked it. Walsh and Mika thought they had me fooled, but they were wrong. They knew I hadn’t heard from Stellan since I had dropped by his house, and they both that I was going to have a nervous break down during the reading. What neither of them knew was that I was officially trying to let go of Stellan. I meant what I said in the letter I wrote him. I had said what I needed to say and I was letting go. I was trying to anyway.
Yes, I was sucking at letting go, but I realized that the big girl world and my big girl dreams might not be able to coincide in the same place.
Big girl world…one.
My big girl dreams…zero.
# # #
I stood in front of the bookstore that Roman had once called stupid and sighed. A wave of emotion washed over me. If I hadn’t seen Stellan at the bar the night before I had ran into him here, would I have been standing where I was standing now? Would I be at the bar drinking a martini as I watched Roman woo woman with each drink he served them? Sighing, I walked to the stairs and stopped when I heard the bell above the door chimed. I looked up and watched a teen bound down the stairs with his headphones plugged into his ears and a bag of books tucked under his arm.
Definitely not the most beautiful person on the planet.
I had dreamt about this day over the course of the last few days and it always consisted of Stellan and I running into each other at the very spot I was standing. We’d laugh at the irony of it and pick up right where we left off.
Each step I climbed meant I was one step further away from my dream. When I opened the door, I looked back down the stairs and let the memory of Stellan knocking me onto my rear play through my head one last time.
I smiled at the memory and walked into the bookstore.
“Don’t hate me,” Mika said, stopping me at the door.
“Why would I hate you?”
“I called Roman.”
Grabbing her arm, I pulled open the door of the bookstore and jerked her out of it. “What the hell?” I seethed, dragging her down the stairs and away from the store. “Why?”
“I needed a bartender.”
“A bartender? Why?”
“You know the bookstore wanted to serve cocktails and martinis and it was last minute. The bartender the inept assistant booked bailed.”
“So you called Roman?”
“He was all I could think of.”
“You couldn’t call me? I know every bartender in the city.”
Mika crossed her arms across her chest. “Every bartender?”
“Enough so you didn’t have to call Roman.”
“Look, I’m sorry.”
“This is my day. My day. It might not be a wedding day where it should truly be my day, but this is my day. Roman and I aren’t friends. We haven’t spoken, well since, Stellan stopped speaking to me. I sure as hell don’t want to speak to Roman before I speak to Stellan. So do whatever you have to do, but you get him the hell out of there before the reading starts.”
“Seriously?”
“Serve the drink yourself Mika. Have your inept assistant do it. I don’t care. Anyone in the world can do it besides Roman.”
I stormed away from her and into the bookstore. The store manager greeted me with a smile and I took a deep breath and smiled in return.
“Come,” she said, taking me by the arm. She led me by Roman and I ignored him. “I hope everything’s to your liking.”
I stared at the area the store had set up for me and smiled. It was near perfection. A podium with a microphone had my book cover plastered across it and a giant version of it was behind the podium. To our left was an announcement board that of course announced my reading from the new book. I knew the only thing missing was Stellan. This couldn’t have been done with out him.
“It’s great,” I said. “Is there somewhere I can stay until the reading begins?”
“Of course,” she answered. “It’s our employee area, but we have it closed off for you, your agent, and your brother and niece.”
“Thank you.”
“Can I get you a drink before I take you back there?”
“No,” I answered. If Roman was going to be near me, then I was pretty sure I would punch him.
Though the headlines would have tickled Mika pink, I knew my sanity was more important than a cheap shot at publicity.
I followed the store manager to the employee area and collapsed into one of the leather chairs when she left me alone in the room.
There was a knock on the door and Mika walked in with her head hanging down. She looked like a sad puppy.
“Is he gone?”
“Yes and no.”
“There’s only one answer I want.”
“Yes, he won’t be bartending. No, he’s not gone.”
I stared at Mika.
“He’s right outside this door. He wants to talk to you.”
I shook my head at her. “Why? To apologize?”
She nodded.
“You can tell him it’s too late. He had his chance the night I showed up at his place and asked him to tell me the truth.” I took a deep breath, fighting back the anger that was running through me. “He chose to lie to me. He’s made his bed and now he can lie in it.”
“But if Stellan was outside that door right now, you’d talk to him.”
“Yeah, because he’s not Roman. He didn’t lie to me.”
“You can’t find it in your heart to forgive him?”
“What heart? The one that has been ripped out and stepped on? No, I don’t have a heart,” I snapped.
The employee room door open and Roman walked in. “I can hear everything you’re saying.”
I rolled my eyes and folded my arms across my chest.
He stared at me for a moment and then continued. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I fucked things up for you. I’m sorry for everything. I don’t want your forgiveness. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry. I let you down as a friend and I tried to hurt you. I’m sorry.”
“Please leave,” I said and stood.
Roman nodded and glanced at Mika. “Everything’s set for your drinks. You just have to pour.”
“Thank you,” she said.
“You too.”
“What?” she asked, looking at me.
I took a deep breath and sighed. “I need some quiet time to prep for my reading.”
Mika nodded. “You know where I’ll be if you need me.”
Sitting back down in the chair, I nodded. When she was gone, I buried my head in and my hands and sobbed. I was letting things go left and right. Some by choice and some not so much, but I knew it had to be done.
Hearing Roman say he was sorry was great, but still hadn’t admitted that he had lied. If he had acknowledged that, it would have been easier to swallow his apology. An apology was only worth the effort if you meant it.
# # #
“And that is the end of chapter one,” I said as a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.
The audience of mostly women with a few men tossed here and there, rose to their feet, and began clapping for me.
“Anna has agreed to questions, so if you’ll take your seats, we’ll do about ten minute of questioning and then let Anna out into the audience to meet you all,” the store manager said in the microphone that she was clutching in her hands. The crowd finished their applause and returned to their seats. “If you’ll just raise your hand, I’ll call on you.”
I scanned the audience one by one looking for familiar faces but I only saw Walsh, Maddie, and Mika. They were seated on the front row watching every move I made.
“Yes,” the manager said and pointed to a young woman in the middle of the audience.
“In the dedication at the beginning, you said the book wouldn’t have been written without the inspiration of the most beautiful person on the planet. Who is he?” she asked.
I smiled at her. “Someone very near and dear to my heart,” I answered.
“Is he here?”
“No.”
“But he is real?”
I nodded. “As real as you are.”
“Is the novel based off of your experiences with him?” she asked.
“I think it’s time for another person to ask questions,” the manager said.
“It’s okay,” I said, knowing she was giving me an out if I wanted it, but I didn’t want it.
She nodded.
“It’s not based off the exact experiences with him,” I answered the woman. “When I started the novel, it was based off an image that I had of this person. I didn’t know his name. Didn’t know the color of his eyes. Didn’t know if liked cats better than dogs. I just had this image of him sitting at across the bar from me. I asked myself, what if this happened? What if that happened? What series of events would lead to this or that?”
“Did you finally meet this person?” someone from the audience asked.
“I did.”
“And they’re still the most beautiful person?” another audience member asked.
“Yes.”
“Does he like cats better than dogs?”
The audience laughed and so did I.
“You know, I can’t answer that,” I answered. “He doesn’t have a pet and neither do I, so the question never came up.”
“Why don’t you ask him now that you know him?” someone asked.
I took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. “That’s a hard one to answer,” I admitted. Swallowing, I didn’t know if I had the strength in me to go where the questions were leading me.
“You’re not together anymore are you?”
“We’re not speaking right now,” I answered, glancing down at Walsh, Maddie, and Mika.
Walsh and Mika were frozen in their chairs. They looked like deer caught in the headlights of transfer truck. They were of no help to me. I knew if I left the question and answering session now the audience would have crucified me.
“Is there anything you would say to him if you could?”
“A lot,” I answered and looked up.
“Like what?” a man in the back of the audience asked. He was wearing a sharp charcoal gray suit and was staring intently at me.
I met his eyes and sighed. Had he been standing there during the entire reading? Surely, I would have felt his stare drilling holes into me. “I’m sorry,” I said as realized the man I was staring at was Stellan.
“Haven’t you said that before?” he asked.
Yes, it was definitely Stellan. It was Stellan without a beard. My heart jumped into my throat. “I have.”
“And what was his response?”
“There was none.”
The audience turned to see who I was talking to and I watched as Mika and Walsh mumbled something to each other and then look at me.
“So why would you say I’m sorry again.”
“Because I’d be saying it in person,” I replied.
“That’s it?”
My eyes brimming with tears, I shook my head. “I don’t know where you were the last few weeks, but I know I was miserable and heartbroken. I don’t know what I did to drive you away. I don’t know if I said the wrong things or thought the wrong things. I don’t know if you’re mad at me, hate me, or wish you had never met me. I don’t know if you’ve moved on. I do know that I can’t move on.”
I felt tears spill over my eyelashes and down my face.
“I’m scared that I can’t fix us. I’m scared you don’t want to fix us. I know that you lost a family member. I know you must feel lost. I know I want to be the person you turn to when you need a map to find your way back. I know that you are my muse, my shining light. You are the person in the room that makes the world stand still. You are my hope, the light that keeps me safe. You are the one for me. I’m not running away. I’m standing here, and I’ll keep standing here until you tell me to move. I love you and I’m waiting for you to make a move.”
Erupting into applause, the audience jumped to their feet and cheered. I wiped at my tears with the back of my hand and tried to stop crying, but it was useless, so I just let the emotions flow. I stepped away from the podium and searched the crowd for Stellan but didn’t see him.
“That was beautiful,” a woman said as her hand landed on my shoulder. She dabbed at her own wet eyes and smiled. “I wish your muse had been here to hear it.”
I smiled the best I could, pushed her hand off of my shoulder, and went deeper into the crowd. When I got to where Stellan had been standing, he was gone.
Feeling the dust of what was left of my heart being carried away by the wind, I turned back and let the crowd behind me swallow me back in. I stood in the center of the eye of the storm until it was just me standing.
“You okay?”
I looked over at Walsh, who was cradling a sleeping Maddie in his lap, and shrugged my shoulders.
“You said exactly what you were feeling. You said what was in your heart.”
“It wasn’t enough,” I cried. “It wasn’t enough.”
“It was enough,” Stellan’s voice said from behind me. “It was perfect.”
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and turned around. I opened my eyes to see that he was really standing in front of me. “You shaved.”
He nodded and rubbed at his beardless face. “Did you recognize me?”
“I told you I probably wouldn’t recognize you out of a party of two, but then it hit me.”
“Do you like it?”
I reached up and touched his face with hand. “It’s different.”
Taking my hand, he pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt my body sigh with happiness that it was in his arms again. I closed my eyes and hugged him as tight as I could. “Where have you been?”
“In the dark,” he answered, placing his cheek against mine.
The warmth of his face rest against mine made me melt in his arms. Pulling my face away from his, I rested my hand on his face and stared into blue eyes. “The dark?”
“My dad died on the last night I talked to you.”
“Were you with him?”
Stellan nodded.
“I didn’t deal with his death well. After the funeral, I drove back home and locked myself in my house. I sat in the dark for weeks. The phone was off. The lights were off. I was off. Finally, Isaac and Trish came down to check on me and bring me back to the world of the living.”
“Trish.”
Stellan nodded. “You met her on the day you came to my house.”
“I thought she was your new girlfriend,” I said, feeling tears slip out of my eyes.
“No one could replace you.”
“She begged me to stay that day. She said you would have wanted to see me. I should have stayed. I’m sorry I didn’t stay.”
“You didn’t know,” he said, his eyes filling with tears.
“But I should have known.”
“The day I met your niece at Pizza E Vino was the first day I had left the house, the first day I had seen sunlight, and I watched you leave in tears and I didn’t go after you. Tears that I knew were because of me. I’m so sorry I never returned a call or responded to you.”
I shook my head. “Don’t be. You were lost. I should have tried harder to be there for you.”
“You were lost too and I should have been there for you too.”
Pulling Stellan closer to me, I pressed my lips against his. I just wanted the last few weeks to behind us. I felt him kiss me back and I started to cry even harder.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I said, burying my head in his chest.
“I’ve missed you more,” he whispered into my ear, holding onto me as tightly as I was holding onto him.
Looking up at him, I still saw the most beautiful person on the planet before me. He was everything to me just like my mother was to my father. “I know I’m not perfect, but I do love you and I’m sorry if that scares you.”
Stellan shook his head. “You loving me doesn’t scare me because I love you, but what does scare me are the death ray stares Mika and I’m assuming your brother are giving me right now.”
I laughed and turned to see Mika and Walsh watching us.
“Is everything all good?” Walsh asked.
“It is now,” I nodded. “Would you like to finally meet the most beautiful person on the planet?”
All rights reserved | This is a rough draft and not the final version
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